the Chronicles of JenNifer

My Letter to Governor General Michaelle Jean

2008-12-05T00:45:00.005-05:00

Your Excellency,

Though the chances of you reading this are slim, I write to you in hopes that you will read this email. I wish to express to you how deeply sadden I am by the wedge that our current Prime Minister has driven into this country.

While he has managed to stave off another election by asking you to grant him prorogation in Parliament, I fear that the anti-Quebec sentiments that he has struck has awaken a national backlash in Quebec. This will partition the country for years to come and possibly result in the outcome of a very different Canada in the future.

I am also deeply sadden by your decision to prorogue Parliament. I cannot help but somehow feel that democracy has failed in this country. Understandably, prorogation might have been the preferred choice, as it seems the safer than permitting an unpopular coalition to go forth or prompting another costly election. However, I fear that this will set an unjust precent in future years. It seems that should a Prime Minister ever, in face of a looming defeat of a democratic vote in the House of Commons, wish to prolong his or her term, the Queen's Representative can rightfully grant them prorogation. Democracy in Canada has changed.

Most Canadians are sadden by the current impasse that has seized Parliament. However, your decision to allow the Prime Minister to avoid a democratic process is one that disappoints the most.

Sincerely,

Where does change begin?

2008-11-07T08:47:00.002-05:00

With the recent U.S. election and all the publicity leading up to it, I'm left wondering where real change begins. Does real change occur in electoral politics or does it happen in grassroots movements in which nameless individuals sacrifice themselves for something they believe in?

I've been contemplating this question for a while now, because for an idealistic individual such as myself, I would like to leave this Earth thinking that in a small way, in some small part, I've made a difference in someone's life. I could go on here and painfully list to you all the things that I am passionate about and wish to change, but I will spare you those details. I've been wondering to myself where I would be most effective in carrying out my passions - is it electoral politics? Some people tell me that this is a futile route as politicians normally take place in the center, being eager to please their voters. I am not sure whether to believe this group or not. So then I wonder to myself, am I more effective in small community organizations or in grassroots movements where I would advocate and lobby for change? Some others tell me that this is a frustrating task and likely, an endless one.

So what am I left with here? How do I go about making the world, or at least the community in which I wake up to everyday, a better place? Can anyone help me answer this question?

Also, read this: http://www.counterpunch.org/fierro11042008.html

On neoliberal economics...

2008-10-16T23:38:00.006-04:00

My good friend, Kuthula, writes for a newspaper column and his recent piece talks about the current global meltdown of the financial markets. Please have a look as he is a very insightful individual.

http://www.newzimbabwe.com/pages/opinion344.18876.html

Facebook = Death of blogs

2008-09-11T18:27:00.002-04:00

Why don't I ever write on blogspot anymore? I mean, I used to love telling the world my weird opinions and useless facts. I mean, sure I was busy with completing the rest of my schooling but I think in part my love for blogging stopped when all my friends stopped blogging when they swapped it in exchange for Facebook.

Could Facebook be the death of blogging? Or has blogging just moved into another form which includes spying and viewing other people's lives without really talking to them? Isn't that what Facebook is? To toot your own horn about your own popularity, to display photos about your fabulous new vacation for all to see? Or do people really use it as an avenue to maintain contact with friends? Is it true contact when it's viewing other people's photos and updates, but never actually writing them that email to ask them how they are?

Ok, I must confess that after years of boycotting Facebook, I finally joined just two weeks ago. It came to a point where I actually felt socially excluded because everyone else would be talking about something posted on their page and laugh about it, but I would have no clue about what anyone was talking about. So in truth, I succumbed to social pressure. However, I must admit that I am still not an avid user and do not desire to be. What the heck is the Advanced Wall and how is that different from the Regular Wall? Am I the only person who has trouble using its awkward interface?

Sigh. I miss blogging. I feel like an old person asking for a return to the 'good ol' days.'

On Being Socially Awkward

2007-12-09T13:57:00.000-05:00

Do you ever go somewhere and simply try to be yourself, and then when you get home and think about it, you're embarrassed about some of the things you've said?

This happens to me all the time. I go to an event, meet people, talk to them, and then go home and slap myself for saying stupid things. The thing is, I know that one of my weaknesses is in my speech. I tend not to be very clear about what I'm talking about, and sometimes what has happened is when someone asks me a question, I tend to give them a whole background answer but forget to answer the actual question. (I have a classic example of this if anyone wants to know what I mean).

I mean, it's okay to act this way...to be a dumbass and unclear with a group of friends who know me and understand this...but to be like this with complete strangers or unfamiliar people? Many times, in looking back in retrospect, I hate myself....

Sick and frustrated with school...

2007-11-30T14:33:00.000-05:00

My normal enthusiasm for learning has dissipated.

As of right now, I detest school and am on an indefinite strike from school work. I can't muster the energy to induce mental masturbation to produce work. This is not a good thing considering that this is crunch time. :S

"The Size Six Harem" - borrowing Mernissi's term

2007-11-28T17:44:00.000-05:00

I don't think anyone in our society would deny that Western media (in all forms and shapes: billboards, magazines, commercials, novels, etc) has mass produced images of female beauty that are, quite frankly, quite unhealthy.

Songs such as this one below help women, especially young girls, develop confidence in being just who they are. I think more songs like this are needed to combat the illusionary ideals of womanhood.

India Arie - Video Lyrics

Sometimes I shave my legs and sometimes I don't
Sometimes I comb my hair and sometimes I won't
Depend on how the wind blows I might even paint my toes
It really just depends on whatever feels good in my soul

I'm not the average girl from your video
and I ain't built like a supermodel
But, I Learned to love myself unconditionally
Because I am a queen
I'm not the average girl from your video
My worth is not determined by the price of my clothes
No matter what I'm wearing I will always be India Arie

When I look in the mirror the only one there is me
Every freckle on my face is where it's supposed to be
And I know our creator didn't make no mistakes on me
My feet, my thighs, my lips, my eyes I'm lovin' what I see

Am I less of a lady If I don't wear pantyhose?
My mama said a lady ain't what she wears but, what she knows
But, I've drawn a conclusion, it's all an illusion confusion'sthe name of the game
A misconception, a vast deception
Something's gotta change
Don't be offended this is all my opinion
ain't nothing that I'm sayin law
This is a true confession of a life learned lesson I was senthere to share with y'all
So get in where you fit in go on and shine
Free your mind, now's the time
Put your salt on the shelf
Go on and love yourself
'Cause everything's gonna be all right

Keep your fancy drinks and your expensive minks
I don't need that to have a good time
Keep your expensive car and your Caviar
All I need is my guitar
Keep your krystyle and your pistol
I'd rather have a pretty piece of Crystal
Don't need your sillicone, I prefer my own
What God gave me is just fine

Must reads...

2007-10-17T03:09:00.000-04:00

Recently I've discovered 2 new books that I absolutely love so in case anyone still checks this, I want to recommend this to you. It is HIGHLY recommended.

Fatema Mernissi: Dreams of Trespass

Fatema Mernissi: Scheherazade Goes West: Different Cultures, Different Harems

Enjoy :) Jenn

Grad School...

2007-09-08T00:14:00.000-04:00

Hmm...where do I begin? Well, moving here to Hamilton was sorta hectic as most of you know. However, since the title of this post says "Grad School," I feel obliged to specifically write about grad school. How is grad school so far you ask?

Well...McMaster had a TA Day this past Wednesday (a day of workshops organized to help TAs better improve their pedagogy) and I met a lot of other grad students. At the end of the day, each grad department had their own departmental session so I was able to meet the other 20 students in my program as well as the director and associate director of the Institute of Globalization and the Human Condition. People came from pretty impressive backgrounds so I was a little bit intimidated but there was a free dinner offered for TAs at one of the campus' pubs so I went.

It turned out that most of the people from my program also went so I sat with them. I must say, we had some intense/interesting conversations already on the first day. Well, maybe not terribly intense but it was interesting. We talked about some of the issues and questions I've had since my undergrad so I was relieved to hear other people being concern about the same things as I was.

And then today was a night of good fortune. So I attend this workshop the other day about CUPE 3906 (the union I belong to now that I'm a TA) and it incited my interest about joining. I knew from their flyers and announcements that they were having a social tonight so I decided against returning home to collect some of the things I forgot last weekend and decided instead to attend this social. I was pretty nervous about it because I knew that I would know no one. And you know what? I really didn't know a single bloody person when I walked into that door. It was so awkward at first that I automatically considered walking back out. The only thing that kept me from doing so was the fact that someone had already seen me walk in.

Anyway, after a long period of awkwardness and standing by myself with my spring roll and samosa and bottle of water, people started coming up to me to ask me questions. And before long, it got a lot better! I met a whole bunch of other grad students in other fields. I found two grad students who were alumni from my Globalization program so it was immensely interesting to hear their perspectives about the program. So I made some friends tonight but the best thing was that I won the raffle for an ipod shuffle!!! Can you believe my turn of good fortune? (Oh, I also won a beer mug at the TA Bash)

Annnnd, that's not all. I now have plans for tomorrow morning. And I thought I was going to sit home all day on Saturday and stare at my walls. Yay for me!

In the Land Down Under

2007-06-30T08:49:00.000-04:00

I've been here 5 days now...here's a quick recap of the past 5 days:

Day 1: I arrived here early morning and within 20 minutes of settling into Dan's place, we're off to catch a bus to meet up with Isaac. I was a little hesitant at first since I had a turbulent flight in which I got sick but it all worked out well. We did lots of walking and got to see many things on my first day. We first hit off at the Sydney Aquarium which was awesome! Hung out at the Darling Harbour & went to the posh Lindt cafe for hot chocolate. Walked around the Rocks, Sydney's most prestigious & oldest area, and dined at the Pancakes on the Rocks. Did a whole bunch of other stuff in between and ended up having dinner and drinks at a pub downtown - $5 meals! Needless to say, my first day was jammed packed..

Day 2: Went out to the Blue Mountains, which is about a 2 hour train ride west of Sydney. It was pretty damn cold there. Oh I forgot to mention, it's pretty chilly here in Sydney. I was unfortunate enough to arrive during one of the coldest and rainest winters they've experienced in 10+ years. But Sydney's winters are nothing compared to the weather at Blue Mountains...I friggin' freezed to death. I bought a hat and mittens upon arriving. I saw the 3 sisters, did some bush-walking, rode the SkyRail and the 90 degree steep steep train ride. Got back to Sydney around dinner time. Dan had to go take care of some other business so Isaac and I hung out. We walked around Darling Harbour before settling on an expensive restaurant to eat at. It was his last night in Australia so it was his choice. Afterwards, we went to the casino and then went home.

Day 3: Met up w/ Dan the next morning for breakfast before Isaac left. We had Mackers (McDonalds) & then went to Paddy's Markets so that Isaac could do a little souvenir shopping for his fam. Isaac left before noon so I told Dan that I wanted to explore the city on my own. We split up & I walked up Wentworth Ave. Saw Hyde Park, St. Mary's Cathedral, Martin's place, the Currency museum and the beautiful Royal Botanical Gardens. The edge of the Gardens had an amazing view of the Opera House & the Harbour Bridge. I actually took some nice pics from Mrs Macquares Point & also walked up close to the Opera House. It was a much warmer & more splendid day until it started to drizzle. Had to cancel the rest of my plans for the afternoon & headed home. Dan & I made dinner.

Day 4: the Taronga Zoo! Got to see koalas, platypuses, kangaroos, wombats and a live free flight bird show. The zoo is a ferry ride across from the city and it has a stunning view of the Opera House & the Harbour Bridge with the cityline in it. It has got to be one of the most expensive zoos in the world cause it's on prime real estate. Those animals sure get great views of the city! Great day with the warmer weather...At night, Dan & I went to the grocers and got stuff so that I could make Shepherds Pie. Um what else? Oh ya! I tried the McOz here...it's the Australian specialty from McDonalds...available only here. There was a beet root in my burger for the McOz...weird eh?

Day 5 (Sat): Captain Cook's Harbour Cruise in the morning; went back to see the weekend markets happening at the Rocks. The market was awesome...a definite highlight of my day...just spent an hour touring those little streets, admiring everything. Walked all the way down George St. to Paddy's Market to pick up souvenirs for my friends & fam this time. Dan met up with me in the afternoon so that we could go to the Fish Markets & have an authentic experience. Very good food. Ended the day by hiking across the city to Bondi Beach - Sydney's most famous beach - watched ppl surf there for a bit.

Day 6 (Sun - today): Hillsongs & Church. Made a late lunch with Dan. Planned out my trip to Melbourne & the Gold Coast. Celebrations for Canada's Day in the late evening. Probably a pub or something with other Canadians.

The rest of the week I'll be heading out to Melbourne and the Gold Coast....backpacking. Wish me luck at those hostels and let's hope I have a great time and better luck with the weather.

Well that was a great five years...

2007-06-14T15:28:00.000-04:00

So as many of you know, yesterday afternoon was my convocation for my Bachelor of Education degree. Needless to say, I did not attend my Bachelor of Arts convocation. Besides the 30 degree weather and the heat stroke I was getting from sitting under the spotlights with thick robes on me, it was a fantastic day.

Naomi's finance rented a limo to pick us up and drive us to York which was fun times. I did almost do a flip in the car and flashed everyone but I learned from my mistakes and wore my seatbelt the next time the driver decided to break hard. Hmm...what else? The ceremony was endless...it felt like we had a million people graduating from the Faculty of Ed. I wonder how we're all going to get jobs with everyone coming out with a BEd. At the end of the day though, it was a good day cause I could finally breath and say that I've finished my five years at York. My parents and Ken were really good sports too and sat patiently through the whole ceremony to watch me walk on stage for those 30 seconds to shake the hands of the President and Vice-Chancellor, the Chancellor, and the Dean of Education. Afterwards we had some cake and sandwiches, picked up our diplomas and headed over to Daniela's house where a graduation potluck was being held.

All the grads got buttons that said "Congrats Grad!" We had a fabulous meal of Portugese chicken and potatoes, lebanese dips and falafel and pastries, Chinese marinated pork chops, and Canadian cake and fruit. Oh ya, and Spanish stuff too. Our parents were forced to interact with one anther which was socially awkward at first but in the end, it turned out okay. :) Thanks everyone for a good time. And thank you Daniela's family for hosting this event. And thank you Ken for coming out at the cost of your own sleep! Good job Naomi, Steve, Krista and D for surviving the trials and tribulations of the Concurrent program!! Yay for us!

sooo summer 2007 officially begins...

2007-06-02T23:16:00.000-04:00

for the first time in 5 years, i can officially relax. i'm not juggling between work and summer school this year...nor am i off trying to make my way through the foreign streets of beijing, thailand and hong kong. i'll be officially unemployed in two weeks and i can do whatever i please. i can sleep in, go for a run, do some gardening, take a walk, cook something new, make a scrapbook...do whatever the heck i want and not feel badly about wasting my time! i'm going to have so much fun. i've spent the past week, organizing all my files and throwing away all the books and notes that i've accumulated in my undergrad. there's nothing more satisfying than sitting down and relaxing in a nice clean room.

oh, and i've also booked my tickets to visit dan in australia! this summer is going to be awesome!

today was a good day...

2007-05-17T20:16:00.001-04:00

i find that i am bipolar when it comes to teaching. there are some days that are just awful and i think to myself, "man...i never wanna be a teacher." and then there are those days where i think i'm an awful teacher...and then there are days like today where i think to myself, "i can do this...it's not too bad."

my kids are getting really into their animal unit - they can tell me about all the characteristics of a mammal & an insect and can tell me the difference b/t herbivores, omnivores, and carnivores. the live mealworm pets we have in class have also changed into beetles and they are super psyched about that! they've been playing these animal games in their free time so they can sort and classify animals according to their characteristics. and my lesson where i taught them explicitly how to label, name, identify, look for key words, and match have really gotten them going on their animal centers...i can't be more proud of my grade 2s!

like when we had our Smart Board lesson today where i had students model & demonstrate what to do for the computer center, the kids knew all the questions to the website game!!! it's so satisfying when i see that my students learn and absorb the material. i almost want to stay past my one month block because i know that i won't be able to finish my math, language and science units by next thursday. it's going to be really difficult for me to leave this class because i've grown so attached to them...

i'll probably post a sobful entry next thursday about me leaving them... :(

3 more weeks and i'll be done...

2007-05-01T21:41:00.000-04:00

so i've finished one week of my block and i have three left to go. and just my luck, i have fallen prey to simon's deathly illness. i have a painfully sore throat, a mild fever and the runny nose. i refuse to take any days off from my block because if i do, that'll simply mean i'm delaying the end date. sooo what to do what to do?

on top of that, i can't wait to be out of this house. really, i cannot wait to move out and start my life in hamilton attending mcmaster's. i am 24 years old and much too old to live under the tyranny that is my mother. i find myself going crazy because of her. i think i'm slowly going insane....

a Saturday night spent like I had no school...

2007-03-25T01:41:00.000-04:00

i watched ninja turtles today. afterwards, we watched 300. TMNT was cheesy but it had its funny moments. 300, on the other hand, was awesome. besides the gore, it was truly awesome.

Jenn's Terms of Endearment...

2007-03-19T23:37:00.000-04:00

While some have the gift of poetry, or gift of words...I find that mine are rather limited. Not that I mind at all. I think that my lack of enthusiasm for lovely dovely stuff might stem from my cultural heritage. While I am a sentimental person and can appreciate expressions, or acts, of love, I generally appreciate these things in private.
And my appreciation also comes with a limit for cheesiness...as my friend Steven Braga often says, "That's SOOO friggin' gay man."

These are phrases that I use when I am expressing gratitude, appreciation, or love for someone.

1. "I like you"
2. "You're SOOO funny..hahhaha" or as Steve often hears it, "You're funnier than (x)"
3. "You're so _______" (Insert nice, great, cute, sweet, etc in here)
4. "Awww..thanks. You're the best!"

and my most often one....."Ken, I like you."

about my friend daniela...

2007-03-09T00:56:00.000-05:00

my friend daniela is sooo loud....

she is the bossiest and most abusive person i know...

today she flicked/slapped my forehead for no apparent reason at all and then our friend karen dropped her mouth open in shock. i was stunned too...

and then yesterday my friend daniela grabbed a bottle of orange juice from my hand claiming that it was hers when i clearly took it for myself first....naomi was a witness to this event...

and on monday i found out that latinos have different rules for turn-taking in a conversation...which might explain my friend daniela's behaviour....

ALSO I SHOULD ADD THAT YESTERDAY WITHOUT ASKING, DANIELA PULLED THE CHARGER OUT OF MY COMPUTER AND PUT IT INTO HERS!!! (nice eh?)

so this is in tribute to my great PAL daniela...she is awesome!!

running around like a headless chicken...

2007-03-04T23:31:00.000-05:00

ok, i think it's time for me to post something new up so those nasty pics of me are bumped down. anyway, just a quick question for all of you: at what points in your life have you felt the most stressed? and what do you do what you are stressed? is there a routine you do to alleviate the stress, or do you just run around like a frantic crazy person like me?

i had a breakdown this weekend cause i was just overswamped with stuff...with school, with FESA, with responsibilities, with my to do list, with work and with friends...it got to a point where i just went beserk and for half hour, i think i lost all sanity. but usually that's not what i do: i usually run around my house all frantic, searching for things and yelling commands at simon to get me stuff b/c i'm in a rush...or i'll pull all-nighters with lots of coffee and stay up all night to finish my assignments. i think i usually handle stress well...don't you?

Painful Memories

2007-02-26T13:58:00.000-05:00

Waking up this morning was a reminder of our 8 hour day of skiing yesterday. My leg muscles hurt, my bum muscles hurt, and my neck and elbow hurt...on the topic of being in pain, I was reminded about a time I had in Beijing. Look below.

Some Cultural Info about the Chinese

2007-02-22T22:54:00.000-05:00

Hello my friends,

I've come today to share with you a little tip that will make your lives a whole lot better and your relationships with Chinese people a whole less tense.

And that is this: Chinese people, by nature, are truthfully honest...to the point that it's blunt and hurtful. This is a cultural endowment...however, the extent to which a Chinese person possesses this DOES depend on whether they're recent immigrants. With increased time spent in Western culture, this quality does tend to diminish.

I warn you of this friends because though I am of Chinese descent myself, there are times when EVEN I am offended.

Scenario 1:
I bumped into Adam's mom a few months back. Before even saying hello, the woman greets with me a "WAAAAA...you've gained so much weight that I hardly recognize you." And then without so much as a greeting, she turns away and walks into church with her husband.

Scenario 2:
My dad and mom were talking outside my room this morning while I was still asleep. My dad had said to me last night, "Man, you're getting so fat...I can see it in your face." I ignored this comment of course as my parents frequently make comments of this nature to me. BUT, when I was asleep this morning, my dad said to my mom (outside my door): "Your daughter is getting fat." My mom disagrees to which my dad bursts into my room and yells, "NO. LOOK HERE. HER FACE IS A LIKE A LITTLE PIGGY'S!" He then walks away...and I remain sleeping in my bed.

These scenarios are nostalgic of my high school days where I had occassions of frequent break outs. My dear old Auntie Ibie would never fail to tell me at church on Sunday mornings, "WAAA Ying-Ying. You have a VERY big pimple on your face." Not only would she say this but sometimes she would actually point and say, "There's one right there."

A normal person when faced with these situations would go home and cry or go hide their face. But I of course have a thicker hide since I have grown up all my life to these kind of remarks. And I suggest that you begin to develop one too if you are to interact with the Chinese community at all.

Naomi's Shower...

2007-02-13T01:09:00.000-05:00

Below are some pictures of the surprise shower we threw Naomi at Daniela's house on Sat. Feb. 10th.

It was a potluck so these are some of the fabulous dishes we had.

Here is another pic. Can you tell that I love food?

On the left is Naomi's mom. On the right is Lidia...we're laughing cause of the games.

The girls here are playing my laundry game - the test of whether you're housewife material.

Here Naomi is crying about the recipe scrapbook we gave her. (It contained all the meals we brought to the potluck).

Another game we played...it gets funnier.

Naomi's laughing here cause she has to put on some XXXL undies...maybe black wasn't such a good choice when we were at the dollarstore, D. She's wearing a black top.

And....the final product....sexy bride, isn't she?

Unfortunately, after this event my camera ran out of batteries...so the world can't see the gorgeous wedding gown Krista and I made out of newspaper.

in tribute to a very speciial person...in celebration to the anniversary of his birth

2007-02-07T00:21:00.000-05:00

Happy Birthday Ken!

Your friends and family love you dearly! :) Jenn

oh, my Grade 2s!

2007-02-06T21:38:00.000-05:00

tuesdays are my practicum days, as many of you know. i returned this week after calling in sick the week prior...and it couldn't have been better. upon entering, one of my students says to me, "why were you away last week, ms. huang?" after explaining that i was sick, another student comes up to me and hands me a card that says "i miss you, ms huang."

it's moments like these that make me reconsider my decision to put teaching on the backburner. once again today, my host teacher hinted that it would be nice if i took over her room and her stuff next year when she's away on mat. leave. while i love the staff and the school, i don't think i'm ready to settle down yet...i'm scared that accepting such a position would make me complacent with my life here. i'll end up settling down and living the typical north american life.

it was funny but at lunch i had an interesting conversation with another staff member. he said that when he graduated, he had all these dreams about travelling the world but he ended up settling down with a nice girl, making mortgage payments and having children. even though his wife and him are both teachers and could find international work easily, his partner won't budge. similarly, i went back to my last host school (malvern) today (to get my principal's reference) and had almost an identical conversation with one of the teachers there.

so my determination to continue on with grad school and to work a few years internationally was confirmed. however, sticking with it will be the hard part. i'll just have to keep telling myself that i'm only 24 and that i have my whole life to teach and to settle down with whatever career it is that i choose...

but visiting malvern today made me a bit soft...i saw the little grade ones i had two years ago who are now in grade 3. they're simply adorable - my favourite student, osama, definitely has a soft spot in my heart...besides being the smallest boy (who was also the brightest kid in the class), his words on my last day made me tear. he said something along the lines: "ms. huang, THANK you for everything you taught us. i learned so much from you and i think you're going to be a GREAT teacher." He was only in Grade One at the time...GRade One!!! I'll never forget that kid. sigh. the joys of teaching sometimes.

Stop being a lurker...

2007-02-03T21:53:00.000-05:00

In my recent visits to friends' blogs over these past few days, I've realized that we've all become lazy...we visit each other's sites and read the whole story but are too lazy to comment. We've all become lurkers!! I mean, this is okay to do when you're on a forum...like one of those gamefaqs or anime hits...but this is unacceptable for each other.

We're all friends...how is it that we're become lurkers for each other's sites? Don't we have even a small comment for each other's posts? Like, cool I like your picture. Nah, Naomi don't cry. Or Daniela, write shorter posts, damnit!! Where is the support? HUH?!!

Unmotivated...

2007-01-29T23:18:00.000-05:00

Does anyone else feel highly unmotivated to do any work? Do you have this lax attitude like "I don't care anymore" and slack on your assignments and readings?

That's been my general feeling the past month. I really have to kick myself in order to produce some work. I am feeling a little sick of school, a little sick of work and a little sick of teaching. I think being unemployed would be the best thing right now. To be unemployed and to have no school would be awesome! I could just sit around doing nothing all day...do the things that I always want to do - make my scrapbook, watch some movies, read the newspaper, etc.

Really though, I think the remedy would be a nice long vacation where I don't have the guilt of unfinished homework hanging over my head. I'm not even enthused about beginning my new teaching career because I'm sick of pedagogy - I'm sick of having the same point driven into me...if I hear one more time about how we have to be accommodating and strive for learner-centered lessons, I'm going to karate kick that person.

You know, sometimes I think that maybe the cause of our self-centered and individualistic society is due to the fact we are extremely child-centered. I don't know another culture that focuses so much on the development of the child...or on the needs of the student. Back in the day, children were just left to help out in the fields of the farm or to play amongst themselves...and those kids turned out fine.

But ya, back to topic, I feel unmotivated. I keep saying that I just wanna drop out of school and be a bum.

Team 4 Reunited!!

2007-01-27T22:26:00.000-05:00

after countless months of missing our fourth member, he's come back. only temporarily though :(. in any case, i haven't laughed so hard in ages. dinner at one of our regular chinese places was fabulous - we had fantastic food and some really good laughs....i haven't laughed so much in one night in a while (esp. through this period of deadlines and hell).

AND i've never seen ken laughed the way he did today. what happened was someone farted (LOUDLY) in the parking lot which startled this old chinese lady. she spun around and ken laughed in an manner unlike himself....it was a really good laugh for him. i can only demonstrate....so ask me next time you see me.

does soybean milk make you moody?

2007-01-24T22:01:00.000-05:00

i've heard from sources elsewhere that soybean milk has high levels of estrogen...and consumed in large quantities can have effects on the individual. so i'm wondering whether moodiness is one of them. i've been having lots of extreme emotions lately...from apathy towards my school work to feeling really sad about ken leaving to feeling extremely tired throughout the day....

if it isn't the soybeans, then i think my symptoms can be explained as the tiredlessness and laziness of students in their last semester...a common experience, i hear. but anyway, does anyone know what the side effects of soybeans are? they do contain estrogen, don't they?

about being ridiculously tired...

2007-01-24T07:31:00.000-05:00

i don't know what was wrong with me but i was so incredibly tired that for the first time in 8 years....i went to bed before 10. at first i refused to go to bed since i had eaten dinner just shortly before then (my mom has done a good job of ingraining into my head that sleeping after eating makes you FAT!). however, my substitute for going to sleep was lying down on the floor of my computer room on top of a file undernearth my head (acting as a pillow). it wasn't until my brother kicked me awake that i realized i fell asleep on the floor...

any sleeping stories, anyone? aside from daniela's experience of falling asleep while lying horizontally spread across stairs, and simon's falling asleep while standing up, does anyone else have interesting sleep stories? naomi, do you do karaoke chop kicks and punch ceilings while fast asleep?

making it through this semester...

2007-01-22T22:50:00.000-05:00

since i had 5 mintues of free time before needing to go to class, i decided to organize myself and write in my agenda a list of all the things that i needed to get done. well, the task itself needed more than 5 minutes b/c there are just too many things needing to get done. i think it might be a better option for me to NOT think about what i have to do. i have yet to write my statement of interest for mcmaster; resume and cover letters for both the York Region and TDSB boards; three pending projects in my different classes; plan for my lessons; make a terrific lesson in which the principal of my school can come watch and be so amazed that upon ending the lesson, she'll offer me to write me numerous reference letters, or better yet offer me a job on the spot; visit the principal at my old school to talk to her about being my reference. also, i'm behind on all of my readings...and then the money that sits in a mess in the safe at the office is needing for me to organize before this saturday, cause who knows what kind of mess it'll be in after this saturday. GULP. sigh.

i sorta feel overwhelmed...but this has always been my life. balancing work, school, extra-curriculars and my ridiculously cute boyfriend that comes to visit me on the weekends...so cross your fingers and wish me luck. i think i might need to quit my job in order to make it through this hellish/busy semester...however, that's also not an option cause i need to save for the tour of south america that daniela and i are planning to go on.

moral of the story? cross your fingers AND YOUR TOES for jennifer hy.

(to make myself feel a little better i've attached a picture of my ridiculously cute boyfriend here)

are people born balanced?

2007-01-13T00:27:00.000-05:00

my friend myda and i once had a conversation about being balanced people. she believed that if someone was born beautiful, that they would be lacking in other areas. other areas might include intellect, character, inner beauty, etc. it was her way of making the world fair...that people be borned balanced. at that point in time, i disagreed with her. i'm not so sure anymore.

what do you think? please tell.

Friday Morning Classes

2007-01-12T09:02:00.000-05:00

each and every friday morning that i am in class, i question the usefulness of attending my 8:30 education class on friday mornings. my eyes are glazy; i'm still half asleep; i have that burning contact feeling in my eyes; and i'm struggling not to fall asleep at this very instant (the only thing keeping me from falling asleep is writing this post). having to wake up at 6am when you only fell asleep 3 hours ago is not fun. i can't even tell you what we're learning in this class. most education classes are like this...hardly anything useful is taught. i usually enjoy theoretical education courses but every single year that i've had a foundation class, i find it a huge waste of time.

everything in this faculty seems so disorganized. there is no communication between our professors and our APs. we have book talk presentations in class next week and apparently it was up to our responsibility to invite our APs. however no one did this cause we all thought that the job of the course director is to communicate with the APs. sigh. i hate friday mornings....i could be asleep in bed right now.

Ken is the GREATEST!

2007-01-09T00:11:00.000-05:00

I just want to dedicate this post to Ken. There are many times when I feel like announcing to the world about his great attributes however, I usually manage to suppress these urges. In any case, I just wanted to reiterate: Ken is great!

Why? There are too many reasons to list. Cause he's so nice to me when I'm tired and moody and cry for no reason. Cause he feeds me food knowing that I love food...and he usually takes me out for Chinese food knowing that it's my favourite. And then I also think Ken is the greatest cause we're so much alike. Like whenever I feel like a social reject, I confess this to Ken and somehow he makes me feel better by telling me similar experiences he's had. And then we're alike in terms of other things...like we're both homebodies. We prefer to stay home and bum around to watch movies or play board games rather than going out to party with our friends. He's also super supportive of my goals and ambitions...I tell him I want to rule the world and he agrees with me. hehe...just joking but I tell him that I want to travel and study and this and that, and he never disagrees. He's also super great when it comes to reasoning with me when I'm being really unreasonable. Sometimes I get really upset over nothing and Ken just takes my abuse. This is not to say that he doesn't abuse me but not as much, I don't think. thanks Ken.

So, here's to Ken!! :)

Jay Chou brings feelings of euphoria

2006-12-18T01:52:00.000-05:00

Before any of you judge me and call me a fob (and by any of you, I only mean Stef), let me explain why Jay Chou brings feelings of euphoria. FYI: Jay Chou is a Taiwanese pop star.

Whenever I play his CD and listen to his music, I am reminded of that summer in Beijing.

For example:
the hot summer nights,
the dazzling lights all lit up on the streets,
the fun and adventure of exploring a city where I'm foreign to the language and culture,
the street vendors where you can purchase delicious treats (if you dare) and the latest Harry Potter book for less than $3 CAD,
the shopping craze that Ken & I went on while there,
the nightly walks I took around my neighborhood,
and most of all...the ridiculously fun time Mike, JoJing, her cousin and I had at his concert.

Listening to his music brings all these images to my mind...and more. (It may also be b/c his is the only Chinese music I listen to).

His music is GREAT! If I had any hesitants about going to his concert previously, they were all quickly banished. He is ONE talented guy!! So...it was after his concert, I developed a crush on him (sorry Ken but I know you love Jessica Alba and Kristen Kruk so we're even).

WOoo HOooo for Jay Chou!! WOoo HOoo for my attempts in trying to maintain my cultural identity!!!

Educational, Environmental & Entertaining - why did they take this show off?

2006-12-13T16:57:00.000-05:00

"EARTH!"
"FIRE!"
"WIND!"
"WATER!"
"HEART!"

"Go Planet!"

"By your powers combined, I am Captain Planet!"

Captain Planet, he's our hero
Gonna take pollution down to zero

He's our powers magnified
And he's fighting on the planet's side

Captain Planet, he's our hero
Gonna take pollution down to zero

Gonna help him put asunder
Bad guys who like to loot and plunder

"You'll pay for this Captain Planet!"

We're the Planeteers
You can be one too
'Cause saving our planet is the thing to do!

Looting and polluting is not the way
Hear what Captain Planet has to say!

"The Power is Yours!"

Can you keep a secret?

2006-12-09T00:33:00.000-05:00

i have a confession to make. i'll probably regret this later and delete this post but for those of you who are lucky enough, you get to hear this one.

i love japanese anime. not all though. i use to follow the dragon ball series when i was young but since this past summer, i've been really obsessed with a show called naruto. seriously. i read the manga that comes out each week and watch its shows and AMVs that are on youtube. this show has me so obsessed that i'm secretly wishing that i was a ninja. (if you're wondering as to its contents, you can find all about naruto on wikipedia...i love wikipedia too).

just now i watched one of my favourite clips which has me so compelled that i feel that i must tell the world my little secret. but seriously this is an embarrassing thing so don't go around spreading this.

sometimes, i wonder what kind of person i would be like if i didn't have a brother but a sister instead. it's him who gets me into all these things...i'm BOYISH because of simon. if it wasn't for him, i wouldn't waste my life playing video games, watching anime and reading comics (hmm...actually, i think the comic thing originated from me because i love superheroes). i used to collect comics. i guess that's my second confession. i LOVE superheroes - the comics, the movies, the cartoons, anything. when i was little, i use to wake up just to watch xmen and spiderman on t.v. umm...maybe i was just born boyish?

Hong Kong cont'd

2006-12-07T11:43:00.000-05:00

just wanted to add that evelyn taterak (some of you know her...was on FESA last year; intern to HK the same year i was in china) made similar remarks about the place.

when i told her ken's comment when we both came back to canada, she said, "when your bf divorces you after he gets his citizenship through you, i'm going to marry him and get my HK citizenship THROUGH him."

we had jokes going about that the whole year...

hmm...maybe it's not as funny to you guys as it was for me.

my love for Hong Kong...

2006-12-06T21:22:00.000-05:00

so my friend, ev, came back from her vacation in Hong Kong last weekend. last night, we met briefly for a tea and cookie time to talk about her trip. in our conversation, i was reminded about how much i love hong kong as a city...and the beauty, sophistication and excitement of that place. i was thrilled to obtain my citizenship through my birthright two summers ago.

as ken said during our trip, "i LOVE this city. i'm going to marry you just so i can get a citizenship here." hehe, let's hope that ken wants to marry me for reasons more than just to obtain citizenship to HK.

The transportation system in HK is awesome! It's clean, fast and efficient. The TTC & GO bus pale in comparison. We are decades behind! I actually grimaced when I came back to Toronto and rode on the TTC...it took a while for me to make a transition back to our system here.

(The second pic is inside taken standing on the platform of the train station).

Class Conflict

2006-11-30T12:12:00.000-05:00

Inherent within every society is class conflict. This is because within the individual, the self prevails over the collective.

thoroughly annoyed...

2006-11-28T16:05:00.000-05:00

can i just say that people are dumb? like they really really annoy me. every day i check my education email account and every day, i get new emails of questions from this and that...when i've already answered those questions. if ppl would only take the time to search the folder, they would realize that "hey, everything's there!"

and what makes me really really livid is the fact that a few days prior to our monthly meetings, i tell sites to notify me of any cheques they need in advance. i get some responses from the sites who are more on top of things but there are always always several sites who fail to acknowledge my email and ask me one or two days before they need a cheque. "Jennifer, I need a cheque for a workshop we're holding in two days." IT PISSES ME OFF! like what the hell?

it takes time for me to get my stuff together, to write the cheque, to get a hold of naomi to sign the cheque...so for them to request it on such a short notice....GRRR. the other thing is picking up the cheque: i get email messages all the time from these idioits all the time, "Jennifer, I'm unavailable to pick up the cheque until Wednesday at 5:30pm, can you check the office hour schedule for me to see if anyone will be there at that time?" or "Jennifer, I can't make it onto Keele campus until Friday night, do you think you could give me the cheque at that time?" HELLO? do i live on FESA? i have OTHER priorities and demands too! what was really funny at the last meeting was how someone complained to the dean about having to balance between school and teaching and how it was difficult. WELCOME to the concurrent world!

aa;sdligas;dighioa;sehg;aosijdgas.....ARGH!

What girl doesn't like flowers?

2006-11-27T00:03:00.000-05:00

So on Saturday night, when Ken & I were all dressed in formal attire to go to his Christmas work party, Ken arrived at my house to pick me up with a bouquet of flowers. (This is partly because I've been nagging him about buying me flowers...something which he hates to do because he claims that they die and are a waste of money). Ken & I often have disagreements over flowers (as we did later that night) cause he simply hates buying them, claiming it's a waste of money while I advocate on behalf of giving flowers, claiming that they are necessary in a relationship.

So in tribute to all the women out there, I would like to make a bold claim.

ALL WOMEN LIKE FLOWERS.

What in the world is wrong with flowers? They're aesthetically pleasing to the eye and the nose (they smell good and look good). And if they bring happiness (however, temporarily) to the receiver, then why not allow the receiver to enjoy these moments/periods of happiness more often? That way, the giver can delight in the fact that his/her gift made someone happy. HMPH.

Now whose with me?

And no, these pictures aren't the flowers that Ken gave me. He has them on his camera still. These are just some pics that I found on the web. Gerbera daisies (the bottom pic) are my favourite type of flowers.

babble...but not really

2006-11-15T23:29:00.000-05:00

as many of you know, i have been out of touch with the bloggin world for quite some time. so today, i decided to frequent some of the sites i haven't been to for quite a while. i was reading my darren's blog and was inspired to write about nothing like he does...so here i go:

so anyway, today in my class we were talking about the differences in cultural communication. like how we all take it for granted that nodding means yes, shaking means no. in some other cultures, our gestures aren't what they mean here. i'll give you a real life sample of what i mean. yesterday one of my grade twos got in trouble with the teacher. she was trying to talk to him seriously and kept saying, "look at me in the eye when i'm talking to you!" but the kid just wouldn't look at her. consequently, he got himself into more trouble. however, i think that we need to be prudent & culturally sensitive as teachers, b/c in some cultures, kids are explicitly taught that talking to authority figures (seniors even) in the eye is a sign of disrespect. this is the opposite for north america. similarly, once i got in trouble in teaching an adult ESL class the thumbs up and thumbs down model (to show me whether they understand) b/c my course director/host teacher told me that those gestures are very offensive in some cultures (e.g. farsi).

on a completely unrelated topic, i think that i'm anti-mushy. as in, i dislike announcing to the whole world that "I (heart) ken" or "I LOVE ken." really, think about the last time that you saw that on my msn name. Similarly I refrain from calling him baby or being super mushy with him in public. that's not to say that i'm anti-PDA (public display of affection) cause i believe that certain forms of PDA are appropriate (e.g. hand-holding, linking arms, a kiss on the cheek, a hug) for certain times. i will not, for example, hold hands with ken around my parents, or sit closely to him for fear that my mother will lecture me about "tempting men with my bodily flesh." what i do instead, if i'm excited about something, or someone, is that i tend to talk about them ALOT. you can ask my brother how much i babble about ken, or ask ken how many times i've said, "i like (insert the name of one of my friends)." and as daniela tells me, naomi complains that i talk about ken too much.

off onto another completely unrelated field is that i realized recently why i wanted to become a teacher, or do all the things i've ever dream about doing. i realize that one of my passions in life is to instigate change. i don't know at which point in my life that i started to develop this passion. maybe i was born with an excess of empathy or something but the point remains. i want to be an advocate for change. i entered into teaching, hoping that i could teach future generations to globally conscious citizens - to care for the future sustainability of our environment, to help fix the structural inequalities we have in our world, etc. however, since entering into this program i've lost that vision. i see teachers as complacent individuals who simply teach no more than what the prescribed curricula tells them to teach - there isn't any originality in the lessons, as long as they receive their paychecks every month. for this reason, i've lost interest in teaching & am considering entering into the field of academia, doing research and policy-work on some of the injustices faced by immigrants in this society. but every now & then, i get glimpses of the fun & creativity that is to be haved in teaching (like yesterday). i am at a crossroad.

hmm, so my attempt to make this a light & fun post like darren's didn't really work. oh well. better luck next time.

Outdoor Education - A field trip with my Grade 2s

2006-11-14T22:44:00.000-05:00

Today, my grade 2 class went on a field trip. Since it was my practicum day, I got to abandon my lessons for a week and go along with them. It was one of the finer moments in the teaching experiences that I've had. It's moments like these that I feel inspired to become a teacher...

We went to what is called the Milne Outdoor Education Program, located within the York Region District School Board. Stepping into the classroom was an amazing sight. The two ladies that hosted us were absolutely fabulous and the one woman, Connie, is an AMAZING teacher. Just watching her gave me some ideas of what I want to do with my class and gave me insight to some strategies that I could use with students.

They talked a lot about the water cycle today - since that is part of the Grade 2 curriculum. Connie had a way of explaining fancy words like evaporation, condensation, and precipatation to the Grade 2s that enabled them to understand it, have fun and learn through bodily kinesthetic means. For example: When describing evaporation, she got the kids to flutter their fingers really fast and move their arms up. She explained that condensation is sorta like water molecules cuddling and asked the kids to cup their hands together...and then she got them to do the motion for precipatation by fluttering their fingers really fast back then. The kids had so much fun!

I was also really impresed with the diagrams and visuals around the class too. She explained how much water we use each time we flush the toilet, turn on the faucet, take a shower. Ex. A conventional toilet uses 20L of water each flush; the environmental ones use only 3L each flush. The school was also committed to being litter-free. There was this wonderful, wonderful visual display that encased real items about what items we should reduce, reuse and recycle. For example: chip bags, candy wrappers, ziplock bags were on the REDUCE section. Cans, plastic bottles, and plastic utensils were in the RECYCLE section. In the REUSE section, there were Tupperware items, metal utensils, fabric bags, etc. It was pretty cool cause these items were all glued onto a board to display. I think I'm going to do that when I teach. Needless to say, there were no garbage cans...only a recycling bin and a compost. As some of you know, I am a keen environmentalist and I believe that we should educate future generations to be the same.

And oh! We got to feed chickadee birds! They are these really tiny wildlife birds that are super friendly. A bird ate from my hand twice!

There were so many more interesting things and many more strategies/ideas that I gained from this field trip today. However, I don't want to bore my adoring fans with the minute details. I will say this though. It's moments like these that I’m glad to have grown up in Ontario. I feel like there’s such a nature-loving element in growing up and living in Ontario. Even though I was educated in the city, I was taught to appreciate nature and learned the valuable things as a kid that I still cherish today. I really hope that if and when I do become a teacher, I can instill these values onto my own students.

Work that has influenced my teaching...

2006-11-01T20:29:00.000-05:00

OKAY! I'm finally going to succumb to the pressure I've receiving about posting a new post. Sooo...this is what I have opted and is somewhat cheating in a sense. Instead of writing something totally new as a new post, I'm just re-using what I wrote for my "journey to become a teacher" assignment. :P

"As for my life in academia, I feel that a great many things have influenced my pedagogical approach. Prior to reading “The Ideology of Racism” by Frances Henry et al, I viewed myself as someone who held no racist views whatsoever. However, after reading this article, I examined my own beliefs and realized that my refusal to see colour as colour was naïve. Although no one espouses racial superiority in contemporary times, modern day racism views certain people of colour as being culturally disposed to deviant and criminal behaviours. I began to see the relation of this within the classrooms and schools I’ve been in, and even within my own attitudes. How many times have I seen a student labeled as ‘behavioural’ or having a learning impediment due to the colour of their skin? Having realized that modern day racism is to regard some cultures as having derogatory cultural characteristics, I am better able to evaluate my own attitudes and practice better discernment in labeling students.

Similar to Frances Henry’s work, the work of Lisa Delpit have influenced my teaching practice. Her book entitled, Other People’s Children: Cultural Conflict in the Classroom, enabled me to understand that there are power relations within the classroom that correlate to the ones within society. I realized that social and cultural modes of power are produced and reproduced within the classroom everyday. In Canada, where the annual immigration target has been set to 300, 000, there are increasing numbers of immigrant students who might not understand these modes of power. The relevancy of this for my own practice is that, in order to help learners succeed, I need to explicitly tell them the rules of the culture in power. However, what is equally important when revealing the codes of power is to acknowledge and value the cultures that students bring into the classroom. The task for educators then is to affirm the cultural identities of the students, but also to make it known to students that in order for them to participate in the “culture of power,” they need to understand those codes of power. It is my firm belief, as a teacher, that my job requires me to teach more than the prescribed curricula if I truly want students to succeed within our society.

Lastly, I want to briefly explain how the work of Jim Cummins has influenced my journey in becoming a teacher. Since hearing him speak at the Reading for the Love of It conference, I have independently read some of his works. His research mainly focuses on language development, primarily the literacy development of English language learners. Through his work, I was introduced to the plentiful ways of incorporating and validating the cultures and languages immigrant, or bilingual, children bring into the classroom. In particular, his project, in collaboration with Thornwood Public School, has opened my eyes to the wide variety of ways educators can use a student’s native language towards learning a second language (in this case, English). I also began to see that within schools, teachers often relegated the responsibility of the ELL student to the ELL teacher. However, I believe that all teachers are responsible for the learning of the ELL student because language is a medium of expression through all subjects. Therefore the terminology learned in science or math is just as important as the grammar and vocabulary taught in language class. The value of Jim Cummins’ work upon my own pedagogy has been significant, as I am now better able to direct myself in incorporating newcomer students into the classrooms. I believe that the works of Frances Henry, Lisa Delpit, and Jim Cummins have all impacted upon my journey as a teacher, and have taught me how to treat students equitably with respect and sensitivity."

Dying Simon's hair

2006-08-10T00:48:00.000-04:00

summer days...

2006-08-10T00:17:00.000-04:00

Hi friends,

Since Ken demanded a new post, I thought I would give a new post. I haven't been in the blog world for quite a while. I've been meaning to post something about how I finished my course forever now...I just haven't gotten around to it. Although my course director was crazy, I thoroughly enjoyed my course. I found it really challenging in terms of critically examining my own thoughts. I will definitely come back to the topic of what I learned through that course.

However, I guess I'll give everyone an update as to what I've been doing these past two weeks. The week of my final exam just about killed me as I was scrambling to get all my papers finished as well as study for my exam. I hardly got any sleep that week. Since I've finished, I've really immersed myself into several projects.

One is gardening. I thought that I would get a head straight on my life long ambition of having a fabulous garden so I've been digging up holes, buying nursery plants, and reading up on perennials quite a bit. And can I tell you that gardening is REALLY hard work? A few hours of digging completely wipes me out. I found out that you reach a certain point in the earth, it becomes rock garden and resistant to the shovel. No matter how much effort I thrust into my shovel, the ground just doesn't buge.

Another project that I've been doing is pressing flowers onto canvases...one of my favourite things to do. I've also decided to declutter my room, seeing that my family is planning to move soon. I've also been doing odds and ends here and there...and wasting what time I don't have by watching Friends (cause I have the series on dvd) and playing sims. The weekdays seem to just go by so quick and with Ken here on the weekends, time is slipping away. This week is my last week teaching at the Enrichment Camp. Next week, I'm in full-time at Scotia...and the week after that, I'm off to San Francisco.

Between now and this next week and a half, I have to: wax my legs, finish my flower canvas project, start on my scrapbook, make a collage for my parents' birthdays, do a powerpoint presentation for FESA, make silk-screen t-shirts for FESA, create a poster for FESA, call the practicum office to find out what's the deal for next year, build a fence around my garden and possibly do more things to beautify it, go running each day, go to york to return my library books and drop off FESA office supplies, start my applications, pick up my library books, read all those articles and books I've been meaning to for the longest time now...and some other small things.

It's no wonder I crash into my bed last night. Somehow I wish I was back in Beijing like last summer where I was without a worry in my head. Except for where I was going to eat my next meal. Ken and I had it so good last summer. I wish I didn't have to stay in Toronto this summer...why couldn't I be with Daniela on her beautiful escapades around Europe and the amazing sights she sees each day. They say, "Be thankful for what you have." I am thankful. I think maybe it's b/c I'm really tired right now and need some restful sleep. :)

I didn't write this...but enjoyed reading it. So I thought I would share it with you.

2006-07-24T16:38:00.000-04:00

Wednesday, January 13, 1999

Stereotypes of women exist in 'modern' society
LEADERSHIP: Conference aims to combat lingering idea of female inferiority

By Melanie Ho

Over break, I watched the film "Elizabeth," the story of the strong-willed queen of England. Early in the movie, the young Elizabeth closely follows the words of her advisers, ultimately causing unneeded death, threatening her power, and bringing the country further into a downward spiral of destruction. When Elizabeth decides to follow her own instincts, dismissing her top adviser, he exclaims something to the effect of, "But you're only a woman!"

We may have left behind many practices of the 16th century, but as I left the theater with those words playing themselves over and over again on the edge of my consciousness, I wondered how often I've heard similar phrases which imply the inferiority of women. These phrases reverberate in the thoughts and dialogue of both men and women today.

Recently, I was discussing politics with a classmate who wasn't very familiar with the political system. As we talked about how members of congress work in Washington, D.C., during the week and often fly home to their districts during the weekends, she seemed aghast. "But what about the women? What about their families?"

This was not a great-grandmother living in the time period in which respectable women didn't wear pants. This was a UCLA student born and raised in what we claim to be the most democratic and open-minded nation on the globe.

It is no wonder that there are only nine women in the U.S. Senate (of 100 senators). Women represent 50 percent of the population, but less than 10 percent of our highest legislative body. My classmate's dialogue represented the idea that women are only fit for housekeeping and not for the responsibilities of governing the nation. This comment is not too different from the comment that Queen Elizabeth's character received in the film.

"I'm old-fashioned. I believe the guy should always pay for dates," a friend once told me. Did she realize that such an attitude is reflective of a time when men were the only ones with careers and thus had to pay for dates? Those who were "only women" were objects to be bought by the sole bread-winning gender.

Many of the women who believe that "the guy should always pay for dates" will soon enter a work force where they will be greatly disappointed, since women with the same level of jobs as men are generally paid less. But how can we expect equal pay if we are not willing to pay equally?

Last quarter, I heard a joke about marriage. It wasn't funny to me, so I didn't bother to remember it exactly. But it said something about a woman's success being judged by the financial success of her husband.

When I helped a male friend move out of the dorms, it seemed as if he wasn't sure whether or not to accept the help. Was it OK for "only a girl" to assist in carrying stuff?

Several days earlier, I heard someone make an offhand comment against "women drivers". When another person in the car asked him about it, he replied that he didn't mean it seriously, that it wasn't a big deal. It is a big deal.

"Guys are just better at science and math." "Women are always more sensitive." Such comments are common in our dialogue today.

"You mean that society has conditioned each gender to behave differently?" I sometimes ask friends who have made such comments, unwilling to believe that they are being serious. The typical response is, "No. They're just better. I've never thought about why."

When people make such blanket statements about what women and men are better at, without realizing it, that usually means that the statement is so integrated into their thoughts that they didn't have to think about it.

This causes a self-fulfilling prophecy in which people treat others how they expect them to behave. Thus, people behave how they are expected to. One who thinks that "girls are better at English and boys are better at math" is likely to raise a male child and female child differently, encouraging each child to do what he or she is respectively "good at" based only on gender.

"They're just harmless jokes." "I wasn't thinking." "I didn't mean to be sexist." These perhaps are the most frightening statements of all. What we say when we're not paying attention represents what we're innately thinking when nobody's looking and when we're not worried about being "politically correct." These are the statements that are the most dangerous because they show that we ultimately don't find anything wrong with the thoughts that these statements represent and imply.

These expressions are a part of our dialogue. They come to us naturally, just as it was natural, in the film, for Elizabeth's adviser to tell her that she was "only a woman" and for Elizabeth herself to respond not by defending her abilities or her gender, but instead by replying that she could rule and act like a man.

The solution lies in changing the way we think, in realizing that there is a problem and that we are all a part of it. In telling friends and acquaintances about a women's leadership committee that is planning the Third Annual UCLA Women's Leadership Conference, I was surprised at how many people told me that they were "not really interested." "I'm not a feminist and not really into politics," they would say.

Women's leadership is not just about politics. And feminism (or women's leadership or women's rights or whatever you wish to call it) isn't something that can really be defined. It's about equality. It's about stopping and realizing what the "harmless" jokes and offhand comments represent in a society where women are not yet equal.

Look at how women are represented in the media. Flip through a magazine sometime or turn on the television and really pay attention. Watch how a woman and man at a car dealership are treated completely differently. How many female business leaders or filmmakers or famous scientists can most people name?

Women's leadership is about changing basic attitudes, and it is these basic attitudes that effect every aspect of our lives.

Chased by Canadian Geese

2006-07-11T23:02:00.000-04:00

i've been taking it really easy lately which i know i'm definitely going to pay for later. i have so much stuff due but since it's a few weeks' time away, i've been just idling and taking naps and reading for pleasure again.

anyway, one of those pleasures i experienced today was a walk. there are some nice paths/trails by my house (like a 20 min walk away); so simon and i took the liberty of going for a walk after dinner. there was a pond and lots of trees and shrubs...and naturally, a lot of mosquitoes. i must have sweet blood or something cause they feasted on my flesh. i'm so itchy right now.

anyway, while we were walking, i noticed a pack of canadian geese (like 30 or 40 of them) by the pond. they were sort of lined up single file to take a dip in the pond. so naturally, being curious about them, i stood nearby to watch. one of those suckers noticed me and started waddling towards me fast! the rest of them turn their heads and about 20 of them start coming after me. i back away and start waving my arms to show that i had no food. i even said aloud several times, "no food, no food." at this point, simon starts laughing hysterically at me while i run away.

i know they'll do me no harm but i just didn't want them right around my legs in case they start pooping or something. (i was wearing sandals).

Cultural Difference

2006-07-10T12:48:00.000-04:00

Twice in one day? I know...I guess I have a lot to say, or perhaps a lot of time on my hands. just a small question to ask. which one of your parents are you more afraid of when they are mad?

i had an argument with my dad this morning. he rarely gets really angry so when he does, he's a little scary. my parents and i have different viewpoints on a lot of things, partly because i think i was raised here and they were raised in hong kong. they tell me that the education system here allows children to be defiant and disrespectful. b/c when they were growing up, they were never allowed to voice their disagreements with their parents...something which simon and i have no problem doing.

On Sleepless Nights

2006-07-10T02:15:00.000-04:00

i had such a great time last post writing without capitals and such that i think i will do it again. i mean, it is 2 am in the morning...who needs punctuation anyway?

and on the topic of time, i would like to ask whether anyone else has sleepless nights like i sometimes experience. i find that whenever i have a lot to think about, or a lot of things to do, or a lot of stress in my life, i tend to not be able to fall asleep cause i'm thinking about everything. like: what i need to get done tomorrow? what's going to happen if i quit my job? what will i do next year when i move? how will i get to school? i also tend to rehearse the sequence of what i need to get done for the next day.

if you do not already know, my family is in the process of selling our house and moving someplace else that isn't accessible by convenient public transport. and by that, i mean TTC cause the Go or York transit is going to drive me nuts, i think.

i also start my first teaching day tomorrow, teaching a grade 7/8 split class and a grade 9/10 split class English. i've spent over 15 hours preparing the materials and linking my lessons with the Ontario Curriculum and what that's only the general outline of this five week block. it's insane the preparation time teachers, well dedicated ones anyway, put into planning and preparing for their classes. it's as my course director said this past year, "for every hour you teach, you take at least 2 hours in planning." or was it three? well, that's one reason why i'm sleepless tonight...i keep running off in my head the list of things i need to do tomorrow. as well, i'm imaging what my class will be like.

what is also distracting me from sleep is this job thing. for those who know me well, i'm usually really well-planned and prepared. i've been contemplating the past week whether i should resign from my job, which leads me into thinking: "ok, ok. if i quit this one, what's going to replace it? " i need to find a job that maintains my current earning level for next year...otherwise, jenn won't have the funds to paid for school, or the funds to transport myself on the Go bus next fall. the Go bus is expensive, eh?

another equally distracting element in my life is that i've recently been in touch with a long lost, distant relative of mine. a relative that i never actually knew to exist. i've been corresponding with him the past several days and it's opened up a lot of questions i have about my family history and the past. he has invited my family to visit him and his wife...and i don't want to comment on those plans yet in case i jinx them and they fail...but i am genuinely happy/excited/nervous/glad about this correspondence. simon and i have been talking about what this may mean. personally, i think that this will help complete a chapter in our lives that we've always wondered about. so that's another thing on my mind tonight.

uh oh! in between writing this post and checking on ev's and daniela's and everyone else's blogs, it's 2:40am! i think i'm going to have another try at sleeping. i'm going to be soo cranky with my students tomorrow. wish me luck!!

My life is STRESS

2006-06-29T23:57:00.000-04:00

can i just say that i've had an incredibly bad week? so much so that i've decided to forget about grammar or punctuation and just write whatever i please.

well, first off: i lost 5 grand at work last weekend and am unable to find that money so my job might be on the line. this week at work, i was short $40 and normally, that isn't so bad...just throws off my balancing ratio but considering how i'm on the hot spot at work, this IS REALLY BAD. on that same day that i lost the $40, i had to cancel a school teachers' meeting that was mandatory to attend (cause i'll be teaching grade 7&8, 9&10 this summer). i also got a parking ticket at school...which makes me more mad b/c as it is, i'm in debt and working my butt off to be able to pay tuition. why is it that i am charged more money when i go to school?

i've also had a presentation today which me and my group put immense efforts into...we've met up a ridiculous number of times to get this presentation perfect. i was under tremendous stress today over this thing. my professor, who is the BIATCHIEST prof i've ever encountered in my 4 years at york, butchered us after the presentation...so much so, that after class was over, two of the three other group members started crying. (it's not just us though...i've seen guys cry after her class cause she really is that mean to EVERYONE, and every presentation). to make ourselves feel better, we went onto ratemyprofessor.com and read her reviews. (ppssst, Nadiah Habib). a person must have tenure in order to speak to students in the condescending and disdainful and disrespectful manner the way she does.

i think i'm going to end off about my bad week here but i want to say that i'm tired. i'm really burned out from trying to do school and work and keep up with friends, maintain a boyfriend, and sort out my crazy family. i don't remember the last time i took off a day for just myself. there are so many demands on my time...it's either talk to simon, sort him out (cause he's a huge worry), go out with friends, go to work, spend time with ken, go to the gym cause i'm getting fat, talk to my parents b/c they're worried about simon, take care of my grandma, keep up with my readings and assignments, take care of FESA stuff b/c i'm treasurer next year. so ya, i'm tired. so if i haven't emailed you or kept in touch, or been everything you wanted me to be, i'm sorry. i try as hard as i can to simultaneously play all these different roles but it can be hard at times.

White people wanted!!

2006-06-20T19:18:00.000-04:00

So it seems that during summer time, most casual conversations revolve around how people's weekend went...and the topic of cottages always pops up. An example of such conversations goes something like this:

"So what are your plans for this weekend?" - Jenn
"Oh, my friends and I are going to a friend's cottage to spend the weekend. It's going to be great! I'm so hyped...what about you?" - someone else
"Um, nothing much...working this Friday and Saturday..." - Jenn

OR

"Hey, how was your weekend?" - Jenn
"It was AWESOME!! Me and my buddies went up to a friend's cottage and just chilled...(blah, blah, blah)...how was your weekend?" - someone else
"..." - Jenn

Conversations such as these make me wonder why I am not one of those individuals who spends fabulous weekends relaxing at cottages. And I think I have found the answer to this question: All my friends are immigrants! I don't have any white friends which is why I don't have a cottage to go this year, or last year or the year previous...or the years previous to that. So I'm always going to be faced with this situation until I find myself some white friends. So, if you are a white person looking for a Chinese friend to eat some chow fun with, or know of any white people, who happen to own a cottage, and would love to make friends with a Chinese girl to eat chow mein with, please refer her/him to me.

Random Pics

2006-06-19T14:43:00.000-04:00

The first picture was taken in Shanghai (or was it Beijing) at a rock garden. The second pic was taken on a ferry boat coming from Phuket to Phi Phi Island. So if we look a little greasy in these photos, it's because it was HOT.

Rafting on the Ottawa River

2006-06-12T18:55:00.000-04:00

Despite the bad luck Ken and I have been having with the weather while travelling in Ottawa, we still had a fabulous time. So Tanya, Ken & I drove up to the campsite on Friday night and arrived there close to midnight in a midst of rain and gust. After setting up a tent, we all proceeded to go to bed while outside our tents college students raged with drunkenness. We woke up Saturday morning to discover that the weather had not improved. In fact, it was damp and cold. Nonetheless, like brave warriors, we sucked it up and held our breaths as we put on our icy wet suits on.

Six hours on the river was a long time to be cold but it was well worth it. Ken & I did not flip over, or fall out. Not once. Which is more than what I can say about my Costa Rica rafting trip...I fell out twice on that one. Surprisingly, Widlerness Tours also served incredibly good food. We were well-fed the entire trip. Saturday night we just chilled and had a bonfire and had smores and roasted marshmallows. Sunday was another day of adventure. This time, we were on 12 people boats instead of 6 and it was the high adventure trip. We had bigger and crazier rapids to go through! It was awesome. At the end, we were allowed to get out of our raft and body surf through milder rapids (currents basically). It was during this last half hour of Sunday's rafting that the sun finally came out. I thoroughly enjoyed the trip despite the extremely cold weather. I'll stop here so that Ken can tell you other details like the Esprit boats at the Coliseum. :)

Random Stuff

2006-05-30T21:12:00.000-04:00

Weather: Just last week, we had temperatures of 10 C or 15 C...what the heck? Why is it skyrocketing to 35 C with warnings of heat alert? Yesterday I heard on the radio that they were distributing bottles of water to the elderly and homeless b/c of the heat alert. Why is the weather so drastic?

TTC: I usually am a supporter of unions and the TTC but this time, I'm mad at them. The strike that happened yesterday came without a warning. The first issue warning was 5am which left everyone with almost no time to reschedule or think of alternatives. Some people didn't even know of the strike and spent hours waiting. Myself? I almost got stranded at home, unable to go to work, if not for my dad and his generous offer of his car.

However, on a bus that I boarded this morning, a TTC driver (who is usually really nice and funny with announcement likes, "Welcome to Toronto. The temperature is 35 C with clear skies and a few clouds...etc, etc") apologized to all of us on the bus for yesterday's inconvenience and thanked us for our courtesy we gave him this morning. It made me smile but I was like, "What courtesy? Is it because we didn't beat him up or spit on him like the two other incidents that happened yesterday?" So ya, his comment made me a little less bitter at the TTC...but just to let you know, I haven't thanked one TTC driver today. I always thank them.

York: The National Congress for Humanities and Social Sciences are having their weeklong conference at York. Classes were cancelled this whole week for this all-important conference. I went there today to meet with a group for a project and man, some of the key speakers are David Suzuki and Stephen Lewis. They have CIDA there with lots of other NGOs in Vari and there are tons of publishers set up in York Lanes due to the number of scholars we have at York right now. And has anyone seen the library? They've transformed it with flowers and everything. There's banners around the school, lovely new benches put up...Where's all this money and extra bonus stuff for me as a student? Aren't we, the students, the primary customers of the university here? hmph.

Family: Today we had distant distant relatives come visit out of the blue. I found out that my grandfather is a brillant brillant man who teaches, or taught, in American universities. All three of his sons either have a PhD or went through Med. school and became doctors. I also found out that my grandfather's sister and husband are professors at PeKing University. Now, why didn't I know that when I went to Beijing last summer? I was at PeKing University all the time visiting poor Mike and his commie housing.

Apple is SOOO cool...

2006-05-26T01:25:00.000-04:00

I think after my ibook, I will never go back. I just checked out this really good software called iWork which is essentially the programs of Pages and Keynote. I took this virtual tour through my ibook and wow. Some of the stuff I can do on a Mac would take years to do on a PC. Simon would call me a Mac elitist...something which he hates. But c'mon now, I'm not trying to snub everyone who owns a PC about how my computer is so much better, because it isn't. In fact, my computer is lowest chain of the Apple laptops. But this is why Macs are so cool:

1) They never freeze (I've only experience this ONCE since I've gotten my laptop), they never crash, and they never need to be restarted or that stuff. I also never turn off my computer. I close it and it just goes to sleep.

2) You basically don't need anti-virus protection cause 99% of viruses out there are targeted towards PCs. (However, the new Intel processing chips make a new debate about the susceptibility of Macs to viruses)

3) Spotlight (Apple button + space bar) which allows you to search for anything on your computer in an instant. Kinda like Gmail, search don't sort except better.
4) Dashboard and widgets. I put POST-IT notes there. I have a Family Guy widget which gives me daily quotes to make me laugh. I have a week long update on the weather...there are tons of widgets from the Apple site!
5) iChat - I can talk to other Apple users like I do on Skype...
6) iCalendar - wicked cause I have alarms telling me of when to do stuff and when stuff is due.
7) iPhoto - making a slideshow has never been easier. my wedding slideshow is going to be terrific!!
8) and I recently discovered iWork! It makes publishing and presentation soo easy! My career as a teacher is set with this!!
9) although my list essentially ends at 8, I still have not utilized my computer to the fullest. I mean, has anyone used Garage Band to make their own music? iDVD or iWeb? Or any of the other programs I haven't mentioned?

Call me a Mac elitist if you will. I'm not telling everyone to hop onto the bandwagon and buy a Mac. I'm simply sharing my enthusiasm for Macs with the rest of you. I'll admit that PCs are good in terms of their raw power... :P

Weekend in Ottawa

2006-05-25T00:47:00.000-04:00

It was a great weekend aside from the rainy cold weather we received while we were there. Oh, and just so that you know, next time when you visit Ottawa for the Tulip Festival, don't wait until the last weekend.

Most of the tulips had died when we arrived. I think 10% of the 20, 000 bulbs that are planted were left. Ken and I had to take pictures of the same tulip beds over and over again to make it look like we saw LOTS of tulips.

Testing...

2006-05-24T14:29:00.000-04:00

Hmm...It really is easier to put pictures up.

Farewell Xanga!

2006-05-24T14:18:00.000-04:00

So as you all know, Xanga has been my home the past year...throughout my adventures in Asia last summer, Xanga was where I detailed my experiences and was a place where I poured out my frustrations and excitement. With great reluctance and regret, I must leave Xanga. I hear that it's easier to put my pictures on blogspot. I will be putting up pictures shortly.

:) I still hope to keep Xanga active though b/c as you view from the title: jenninchina so if I ever return to China or have anymore travelling adventures, I'll be sure to post it on there.