Hello my friends,
I've come today to share with you a little tip that will make your lives a whole lot better and your relationships with Chinese people a whole less tense.
And that is this: Chinese people, by nature, are truthfully honest...to the point that it's blunt and hurtful. This is a cultural endowment...however, the extent to which a Chinese person possesses this DOES depend on whether they're recent immigrants. With increased time spent in Western culture, this quality does tend to diminish.
I warn you of this friends because though I am of Chinese descent myself, there are times when EVEN I am offended.
Scenario 1:
I bumped into Adam's mom a few months back. Before even saying hello, the woman greets with me a "WAAAAA...you've gained so much weight that I hardly recognize you." And then without so much as a greeting, she turns away and walks into church with her husband.
Scenario 2:
My dad and mom were talking outside my room this morning while I was still asleep. My dad had said to me last night, "Man, you're getting so fat...I can see it in your face." I ignored this comment of course as my parents frequently make comments of this nature to me. BUT, when I was asleep this morning, my dad said to my mom (outside my door): "Your daughter is getting fat." My mom disagrees to which my dad bursts into my room and yells, "NO. LOOK HERE. HER FACE IS A LIKE A LITTLE PIGGY'S!" He then walks away...and I remain sleeping in my bed.
These scenarios are nostalgic of my high school days where I had occassions of frequent break outs. My dear old Auntie Ibie would never fail to tell me at church on Sunday mornings, "WAAA Ying-Ying. You have a VERY big pimple on your face." Not only would she say this but sometimes she would actually point and say, "There's one right there."
A normal person when faced with these situations would go home and cry or go hide their face. But I of course have a thicker hide since I have grown up all my life to these kind of remarks. And I suggest that you begin to develop one too if you are to interact with the Chinese community at all.
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5 comments:
ummm. wow. thats a bit intense.
first of all i would like to say that i think you go off and cry about these comments yourself. i mean, maybe not as much as before but you still do it. so i am not sure that u have such thick skin. than again, why should you? comments like that hurt. i dont know how many times a person can let those comments bounce off of them before they burst.
also, i have heard several stores of some elderly lady saying waaaaa followed by a 'fat' comment to you. is it the same lady or has there been more than one situation of this. i dont know why its important for me to know. i guess i am just curious.
and i also want to say that you are not fat jenn!!!
shit son.
finally....who is adam? did i miss something here?
in conclusion:
You are beautiful, no matter what they say.
words cant bring you down.
nooooo.
you are beautiful, in every single way,
yes, words cant bring you down.
so dont you bring me down today.
thank you.
ps. i am still down for working out at york with you and D if you guys are still up for it. just let me know. i am sure we can work something out, at least once a week.
beace!
i would also like to mention that our culture is the same way. often times they will talk about you behind your back and to your face. i witnessed this happen once in lebanon. it was kinda funny, but still.
ok, NOW i will go.
ciao.
i have thick skin too cuz jenn calls me a fat cow all the time...
When I worked at velcro during the summer, my Chinese buddy Lu commented on a pimple i had. He said "WTF is that? You look terrible" It was quite funny actually....
Steve
i think that being so blatently (sp?) honest is being a bit too rude. I never pointed out pimples on other peoples face or stuff like that cause its embaressing. i mean, they are already feeling bad about having it on their face and probably hope to death that no one can see it, so actually making a remark about is like kicking them while they are down. i hated people that made those kinds of comments. i was such a polite kid when i was younger. barely spoke two words....daniela changed that. lol.
and i think that with time think skin becomes thin. and that's when the honesty (aka insults) really take their toll on people. i dont care what culture you come from, there is a difference between being polite and being rude and i think any person knows where to draw the line between the two.
so there.
hmph!
lol.
You should keep pace with their brutal honesty by commenting on their lovely silver hair, well-defined wrinkles on their foreheads, colourful bags under their eyes, prominent quadruple chins, and other various highlights.
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