Unmotivated...

Does anyone else feel highly unmotivated to do any work? Do you have this lax attitude like "I don't care anymore" and slack on your assignments and readings?

That's been my general feeling the past month. I really have to kick myself in order to produce some work. I am feeling a little sick of school, a little sick of work and a little sick of teaching. I think being unemployed would be the best thing right now. To be unemployed and to have no school would be awesome! I could just sit around doing nothing all day...do the things that I always want to do - make my scrapbook, watch some movies, read the newspaper, etc.

Really though, I think the remedy would be a nice long vacation where I don't have the guilt of unfinished homework hanging over my head. I'm not even enthused about beginning my new teaching career because I'm sick of pedagogy - I'm sick of having the same point driven into me...if I hear one more time about how we have to be accommodating and strive for learner-centered lessons, I'm going to karate kick that person.

You know, sometimes I think that maybe the cause of our self-centered and individualistic society is due to the fact we are extremely child-centered. I don't know another culture that focuses so much on the development of the child...or on the needs of the student. Back in the day, children were just left to help out in the fields of the farm or to play amongst themselves...and those kids turned out fine.

But ya, back to topic, I feel unmotivated. I keep saying that I just wanna drop out of school and be a bum.

Team 4 Reunited!!

after countless months of missing our fourth member, he's come back. only temporarily though :(. in any case, i haven't laughed so hard in ages. dinner at one of our regular chinese places was fabulous - we had fantastic food and some really good laughs....i haven't laughed so much in one night in a while (esp. through this period of deadlines and hell).

AND i've never seen ken laughed the way he did today. what happened was someone farted (LOUDLY) in the parking lot which startled this old chinese lady. she spun around and ken laughed in an manner unlike himself....it was a really good laugh for him. i can only demonstrate....so ask me next time you see me.

does soybean milk make you moody?

i've heard from sources elsewhere that soybean milk has high levels of estrogen...and consumed in large quantities can have effects on the individual. so i'm wondering whether moodiness is one of them. i've been having lots of extreme emotions lately...from apathy towards my school work to feeling really sad about ken leaving to feeling extremely tired throughout the day....

if it isn't the soybeans, then i think my symptoms can be explained as the tiredlessness and laziness of students in their last semester...a common experience, i hear. but anyway, does anyone know what the side effects of soybeans are? they do contain estrogen, don't they?

about being ridiculously tired...

i don't know what was wrong with me but i was so incredibly tired that for the first time in 8 years....i went to bed before 10. at first i refused to go to bed since i had eaten dinner just shortly before then (my mom has done a good job of ingraining into my head that sleeping after eating makes you FAT!). however, my substitute for going to sleep was lying down on the floor of my computer room on top of a file undernearth my head (acting as a pillow). it wasn't until my brother kicked me awake that i realized i fell asleep on the floor...

any sleeping stories, anyone? aside from daniela's experience of falling asleep while lying horizontally spread across stairs, and simon's falling asleep while standing up, does anyone else have interesting sleep stories? naomi, do you do karaoke chop kicks and punch ceilings while fast asleep?

making it through this semester...

since i had 5 mintues of free time before needing to go to class, i decided to organize myself and write in my agenda a list of all the things that i needed to get done. well, the task itself needed more than 5 minutes b/c there are just too many things needing to get done. i think it might be a better option for me to NOT think about what i have to do. i have yet to write my statement of interest for mcmaster; resume and cover letters for both the York Region and TDSB boards; three pending projects in my different classes; plan for my lessons; make a terrific lesson in which the principal of my school can come watch and be so amazed that upon ending the lesson, she'll offer me to write me numerous reference letters, or better yet offer me a job on the spot; visit the principal at my old school to talk to her about being my reference. also, i'm behind on all of my readings...and then the money that sits in a mess in the safe at the office is needing for me to organize before this saturday, cause who knows what kind of mess it'll be in after this saturday. GULP. sigh.

i sorta feel overwhelmed...but this has always been my life. balancing work, school, extra-curriculars and my ridiculously cute boyfriend that comes to visit me on the weekends...so cross your fingers and wish me luck. i think i might need to quit my job in order to make it through this hellish/busy semester...however, that's also not an option cause i need to save for the tour of south america that daniela and i are planning to go on.

moral of the story? cross your fingers AND YOUR TOES for jennifer hy.


(to make myself feel a little better i've attached a picture of my ridiculously cute boyfriend here)

are people born balanced?

my friend myda and i once had a conversation about being balanced people. she believed that if someone was born beautiful, that they would be lacking in other areas. other areas might include intellect, character, inner beauty, etc. it was her way of making the world fair...that people be borned balanced. at that point in time, i disagreed with her. i'm not so sure anymore.

what do you think? please tell.

Friday Morning Classes

each and every friday morning that i am in class, i question the usefulness of attending my 8:30 education class on friday mornings. my eyes are glazy; i'm still half asleep; i have that burning contact feeling in my eyes; and i'm struggling not to fall asleep at this very instant (the only thing keeping me from falling asleep is writing this post). having to wake up at 6am when you only fell asleep 3 hours ago is not fun. i can't even tell you what we're learning in this class. most education classes are like this...hardly anything useful is taught. i usually enjoy theoretical education courses but every single year that i've had a foundation class, i find it a huge waste of time.

everything in this faculty seems so disorganized. there is no communication between our professors and our APs. we have book talk presentations in class next week and apparently it was up to our responsibility to invite our APs. however no one did this cause we all thought that the job of the course director is to communicate with the APs. sigh. i hate friday mornings....i could be asleep in bed right now.

Ken is the GREATEST!

I just want to dedicate this post to Ken. There are many times when I feel like announcing to the world about his great attributes however, I usually manage to suppress these urges. In any case, I just wanted to reiterate: Ken is great!

Why? There are too many reasons to list. Cause he's so nice to me when I'm tired and moody and cry for no reason. Cause he feeds me food knowing that I love food...and he usually takes me out for Chinese food knowing that it's my favourite. And then I also think Ken is the greatest cause we're so much alike. Like whenever I feel like a social reject, I confess this to Ken and somehow he makes me feel better by telling me similar experiences he's had. And then we're alike in terms of other things...like we're both homebodies. We prefer to stay home and bum around to watch movies or play board games rather than going out to party with our friends. He's also super supportive of my goals and ambitions...I tell him I want to rule the world and he agrees with me. hehe...just joking but I tell him that I want to travel and study and this and that, and he never disagrees. He's also super great when it comes to reasoning with me when I'm being really unreasonable. Sometimes I get really upset over nothing and Ken just takes my abuse. This is not to say that he doesn't abuse me but not as much, I don't think. thanks Ken.

So, here's to Ken!! :)