I didn't write this...but enjoyed reading it. So I thought I would share it with you.

Wednesday, January 13, 1999

Stereotypes of women exist in 'modern' society
LEADERSHIP: Conference aims to combat lingering idea of female inferiority

By Melanie Ho

Over break, I watched the film "Elizabeth," the story of the strong-willed queen of England. Early in the movie, the young Elizabeth closely follows the words of her advisers, ultimately causing unneeded death, threatening her power, and bringing the country further into a downward spiral of destruction. When Elizabeth decides to follow her own instincts, dismissing her top adviser, he exclaims something to the effect of, "But you're only a woman!"

We may have left behind many practices of the 16th century, but as I left the theater with those words playing themselves over and over again on the edge of my consciousness, I wondered how often I've heard similar phrases which imply the inferiority of women. These phrases reverberate in the thoughts and dialogue of both men and women today.

Recently, I was discussing politics with a classmate who wasn't very familiar with the political system. As we talked about how members of congress work in Washington, D.C., during the week and often fly home to their districts during the weekends, she seemed aghast. "But what about the women? What about their families?"

This was not a great-grandmother living in the time period in which respectable women didn't wear pants. This was a UCLA student born and raised in what we claim to be the most democratic and open-minded nation on the globe.

It is no wonder that there are only nine women in the U.S. Senate (of 100 senators). Women represent 50 percent of the population, but less than 10 percent of our highest legislative body. My classmate's dialogue represented the idea that women are only fit for housekeeping and not for the responsibilities of governing the nation. This comment is not too different from the comment that Queen Elizabeth's character received in the film.

"I'm old-fashioned. I believe the guy should always pay for dates," a friend once told me. Did she realize that such an attitude is reflective of a time when men were the only ones with careers and thus had to pay for dates? Those who were "only women" were objects to be bought by the sole bread-winning gender.

Many of the women who believe that "the guy should always pay for dates" will soon enter a work force where they will be greatly disappointed, since women with the same level of jobs as men are generally paid less. But how can we expect equal pay if we are not willing to pay equally?

Last quarter, I heard a joke about marriage. It wasn't funny to me, so I didn't bother to remember it exactly. But it said something about a woman's success being judged by the financial success of her husband.

When I helped a male friend move out of the dorms, it seemed as if he wasn't sure whether or not to accept the help. Was it OK for "only a girl" to assist in carrying stuff?

Several days earlier, I heard someone make an offhand comment against "women drivers". When another person in the car asked him about it, he replied that he didn't mean it seriously, that it wasn't a big deal. It is a big deal.

"Guys are just better at science and math." "Women are always more sensitive." Such comments are common in our dialogue today.

"You mean that society has conditioned each gender to behave differently?" I sometimes ask friends who have made such comments, unwilling to believe that they are being serious. The typical response is, "No. They're just better. I've never thought about why."

When people make such blanket statements about what women and men are better at, without realizing it, that usually means that the statement is so integrated into their thoughts that they didn't have to think about it.

This causes a self-fulfilling prophecy in which people treat others how they expect them to behave. Thus, people behave how they are expected to. One who thinks that "girls are better at English and boys are better at math" is likely to raise a male child and female child differently, encouraging each child to do what he or she is respectively "good at" based only on gender.

"They're just harmless jokes." "I wasn't thinking." "I didn't mean to be sexist." These perhaps are the most frightening statements of all. What we say when we're not paying attention represents what we're innately thinking when nobody's looking and when we're not worried about being "politically correct." These are the statements that are the most dangerous because they show that we ultimately don't find anything wrong with the thoughts that these statements represent and imply.

These expressions are a part of our dialogue. They come to us naturally, just as it was natural, in the film, for Elizabeth's adviser to tell her that she was "only a woman" and for Elizabeth herself to respond not by defending her abilities or her gender, but instead by replying that she could rule and act like a man.

The solution lies in changing the way we think, in realizing that there is a problem and that we are all a part of it. In telling friends and acquaintances about a women's leadership committee that is planning the Third Annual UCLA Women's Leadership Conference, I was surprised at how many people told me that they were "not really interested." "I'm not a feminist and not really into politics," they would say.

Women's leadership is not just about politics. And feminism (or women's leadership or women's rights or whatever you wish to call it) isn't something that can really be defined. It's about equality. It's about stopping and realizing what the "harmless" jokes and offhand comments represent in a society where women are not yet equal.

Look at how women are represented in the media. Flip through a magazine sometime or turn on the television and really pay attention. Watch how a woman and man at a car dealership are treated completely differently. How many female business leaders or filmmakers or famous scientists can most people name?

Women's leadership is about changing basic attitudes, and it is these basic attitudes that effect every aspect of our lives.