Unmotivated...

Does anyone else feel highly unmotivated to do any work? Do you have this lax attitude like "I don't care anymore" and slack on your assignments and readings?

That's been my general feeling the past month. I really have to kick myself in order to produce some work. I am feeling a little sick of school, a little sick of work and a little sick of teaching. I think being unemployed would be the best thing right now. To be unemployed and to have no school would be awesome! I could just sit around doing nothing all day...do the things that I always want to do - make my scrapbook, watch some movies, read the newspaper, etc.

Really though, I think the remedy would be a nice long vacation where I don't have the guilt of unfinished homework hanging over my head. I'm not even enthused about beginning my new teaching career because I'm sick of pedagogy - I'm sick of having the same point driven into me...if I hear one more time about how we have to be accommodating and strive for learner-centered lessons, I'm going to karate kick that person.

You know, sometimes I think that maybe the cause of our self-centered and individualistic society is due to the fact we are extremely child-centered. I don't know another culture that focuses so much on the development of the child...or on the needs of the student. Back in the day, children were just left to help out in the fields of the farm or to play amongst themselves...and those kids turned out fine.

But ya, back to topic, I feel unmotivated. I keep saying that I just wanna drop out of school and be a bum.

Team 4 Reunited!!

after countless months of missing our fourth member, he's come back. only temporarily though :(. in any case, i haven't laughed so hard in ages. dinner at one of our regular chinese places was fabulous - we had fantastic food and some really good laughs....i haven't laughed so much in one night in a while (esp. through this period of deadlines and hell).

AND i've never seen ken laughed the way he did today. what happened was someone farted (LOUDLY) in the parking lot which startled this old chinese lady. she spun around and ken laughed in an manner unlike himself....it was a really good laugh for him. i can only demonstrate....so ask me next time you see me.

does soybean milk make you moody?

i've heard from sources elsewhere that soybean milk has high levels of estrogen...and consumed in large quantities can have effects on the individual. so i'm wondering whether moodiness is one of them. i've been having lots of extreme emotions lately...from apathy towards my school work to feeling really sad about ken leaving to feeling extremely tired throughout the day....

if it isn't the soybeans, then i think my symptoms can be explained as the tiredlessness and laziness of students in their last semester...a common experience, i hear. but anyway, does anyone know what the side effects of soybeans are? they do contain estrogen, don't they?

about being ridiculously tired...

i don't know what was wrong with me but i was so incredibly tired that for the first time in 8 years....i went to bed before 10. at first i refused to go to bed since i had eaten dinner just shortly before then (my mom has done a good job of ingraining into my head that sleeping after eating makes you FAT!). however, my substitute for going to sleep was lying down on the floor of my computer room on top of a file undernearth my head (acting as a pillow). it wasn't until my brother kicked me awake that i realized i fell asleep on the floor...

any sleeping stories, anyone? aside from daniela's experience of falling asleep while lying horizontally spread across stairs, and simon's falling asleep while standing up, does anyone else have interesting sleep stories? naomi, do you do karaoke chop kicks and punch ceilings while fast asleep?

making it through this semester...

since i had 5 mintues of free time before needing to go to class, i decided to organize myself and write in my agenda a list of all the things that i needed to get done. well, the task itself needed more than 5 minutes b/c there are just too many things needing to get done. i think it might be a better option for me to NOT think about what i have to do. i have yet to write my statement of interest for mcmaster; resume and cover letters for both the York Region and TDSB boards; three pending projects in my different classes; plan for my lessons; make a terrific lesson in which the principal of my school can come watch and be so amazed that upon ending the lesson, she'll offer me to write me numerous reference letters, or better yet offer me a job on the spot; visit the principal at my old school to talk to her about being my reference. also, i'm behind on all of my readings...and then the money that sits in a mess in the safe at the office is needing for me to organize before this saturday, cause who knows what kind of mess it'll be in after this saturday. GULP. sigh.

i sorta feel overwhelmed...but this has always been my life. balancing work, school, extra-curriculars and my ridiculously cute boyfriend that comes to visit me on the weekends...so cross your fingers and wish me luck. i think i might need to quit my job in order to make it through this hellish/busy semester...however, that's also not an option cause i need to save for the tour of south america that daniela and i are planning to go on.

moral of the story? cross your fingers AND YOUR TOES for jennifer hy.


(to make myself feel a little better i've attached a picture of my ridiculously cute boyfriend here)

are people born balanced?

my friend myda and i once had a conversation about being balanced people. she believed that if someone was born beautiful, that they would be lacking in other areas. other areas might include intellect, character, inner beauty, etc. it was her way of making the world fair...that people be borned balanced. at that point in time, i disagreed with her. i'm not so sure anymore.

what do you think? please tell.

Friday Morning Classes

each and every friday morning that i am in class, i question the usefulness of attending my 8:30 education class on friday mornings. my eyes are glazy; i'm still half asleep; i have that burning contact feeling in my eyes; and i'm struggling not to fall asleep at this very instant (the only thing keeping me from falling asleep is writing this post). having to wake up at 6am when you only fell asleep 3 hours ago is not fun. i can't even tell you what we're learning in this class. most education classes are like this...hardly anything useful is taught. i usually enjoy theoretical education courses but every single year that i've had a foundation class, i find it a huge waste of time.

everything in this faculty seems so disorganized. there is no communication between our professors and our APs. we have book talk presentations in class next week and apparently it was up to our responsibility to invite our APs. however no one did this cause we all thought that the job of the course director is to communicate with the APs. sigh. i hate friday mornings....i could be asleep in bed right now.

Ken is the GREATEST!

I just want to dedicate this post to Ken. There are many times when I feel like announcing to the world about his great attributes however, I usually manage to suppress these urges. In any case, I just wanted to reiterate: Ken is great!

Why? There are too many reasons to list. Cause he's so nice to me when I'm tired and moody and cry for no reason. Cause he feeds me food knowing that I love food...and he usually takes me out for Chinese food knowing that it's my favourite. And then I also think Ken is the greatest cause we're so much alike. Like whenever I feel like a social reject, I confess this to Ken and somehow he makes me feel better by telling me similar experiences he's had. And then we're alike in terms of other things...like we're both homebodies. We prefer to stay home and bum around to watch movies or play board games rather than going out to party with our friends. He's also super supportive of my goals and ambitions...I tell him I want to rule the world and he agrees with me. hehe...just joking but I tell him that I want to travel and study and this and that, and he never disagrees. He's also super great when it comes to reasoning with me when I'm being really unreasonable. Sometimes I get really upset over nothing and Ken just takes my abuse. This is not to say that he doesn't abuse me but not as much, I don't think. thanks Ken.

So, here's to Ken!! :)

Jay Chou brings feelings of euphoria

Before any of you judge me and call me a fob (and by any of you, I only mean Stef), let me explain why Jay Chou brings feelings of euphoria. FYI: Jay Chou is a Taiwanese pop star.

Whenever I play his CD and listen to his music, I am reminded of that summer in Beijing.

For example:
the hot summer nights,
the dazzling lights all lit up on the streets,
the fun and adventure of exploring a city where I'm foreign to the language and culture,
the street vendors where you can purchase delicious treats (if you dare) and the latest Harry Potter book for less than $3 CAD,
the shopping craze that Ken & I went on while there,
the nightly walks I took around my neighborhood,
and most of all...the ridiculously fun time Mike, JoJing, her cousin and I had at his concert.

Listening to his music brings all these images to my mind...and more. (It may also be b/c his is the only Chinese music I listen to).

His music is GREAT! If I had any hesitants about going to his concert previously, they were all quickly banished. He is ONE talented guy!! So...it was after his concert, I developed a crush on him (sorry Ken but I know you love Jessica Alba and Kristen Kruk so we're even).


WOoo HOooo for Jay Chou!! WOoo HOoo for my attempts in trying to maintain my cultural identity!!!

Educational, Environmental & Entertaining - why did they take this show off?

"EARTH!"
"FIRE!"
"WIND!"
"WATER!"
"HEART!"

"Go Planet!"

"By your powers combined, I am Captain Planet!"

Captain Planet, he's our hero
Gonna take pollution down to zero

He's our powers magnified
And he's fighting on the planet's side

Captain Planet, he's our hero
Gonna take pollution down to zero

Gonna help him put asunder
Bad guys who like to loot and plunder

"You'll pay for this Captain Planet!"

We're the Planeteers
You can be one too
'Cause saving our planet is the thing to do!

Looting and polluting is not the way
Hear what Captain Planet has to say!

"The Power is Yours!"

Can you keep a secret?

i have a confession to make. i'll probably regret this later and delete this post but for those of you who are lucky enough, you get to hear this one.

i love japanese anime. not all though. i use to follow the dragon ball series when i was young but since this past summer, i've been really obsessed with a show called naruto. seriously. i read the manga that comes out each week and watch its shows and AMVs that are on youtube. this show has me so obsessed that i'm secretly wishing that i was a ninja. (if you're wondering as to its contents, you can find all about naruto on wikipedia...i love wikipedia too).

just now i watched one of my favourite clips which has me so compelled that i feel that i must tell the world my little secret. but seriously this is an embarrassing thing so don't go around spreading this.

sometimes, i wonder what kind of person i would be like if i didn't have a brother but a sister instead. it's him who gets me into all these things...i'm BOYISH because of simon. if it wasn't for him, i wouldn't waste my life playing video games, watching anime and reading comics (hmm...actually, i think the comic thing originated from me because i love superheroes). i used to collect comics. i guess that's my second confession. i LOVE superheroes - the comics, the movies, the cartoons, anything. when i was little, i use to wake up just to watch xmen and spiderman on t.v. umm...maybe i was just born boyish?

Hong Kong cont'd

just wanted to add that evelyn taterak (some of you know her...was on FESA last year; intern to HK the same year i was in china) made similar remarks about the place.

when i told her ken's comment when we both came back to canada, she said, "when your bf divorces you after he gets his citizenship through you, i'm going to marry him and get my HK citizenship THROUGH him."

we had jokes going about that the whole year...

hmm...maybe it's not as funny to you guys as it was for me.

my love for Hong Kong...

so my friend, ev, came back from her vacation in Hong Kong last weekend. last night, we met briefly for a tea and cookie time to talk about her trip. in our conversation, i was reminded about how much i love hong kong as a city...and the beauty, sophistication and excitement of that place. i was thrilled to obtain my citizenship through my birthright two summers ago.

as ken said during our trip, "i LOVE this city. i'm going to marry you just so i can get a citizenship here." hehe, let's hope that ken wants to marry me for reasons more than just to obtain citizenship to HK.



The transportation system in HK is awesome! It's clean, fast and efficient. The TTC & GO bus pale in comparison. We are decades behind! I actually grimaced when I came back to Toronto and rode on the TTC...it took a while for me to make a transition back to our system here.

(The second pic is inside taken standing on the platform of the train station).

Class Conflict

Inherent within every society is class conflict. This is because within the individual, the self prevails over the collective.

thoroughly annoyed...

can i just say that people are dumb? like they really really annoy me. every day i check my education email account and every day, i get new emails of questions from this and that...when i've already answered those questions. if ppl would only take the time to search the folder, they would realize that "hey, everything's there!"

and what makes me really really livid is the fact that a few days prior to our monthly meetings, i tell sites to notify me of any cheques they need in advance. i get some responses from the sites who are more on top of things but there are always always several sites who fail to acknowledge my email and ask me one or two days before they need a cheque. "Jennifer, I need a cheque for a workshop we're holding in two days." IT PISSES ME OFF! like what the hell?

it takes time for me to get my stuff together, to write the cheque, to get a hold of naomi to sign the cheque...so for them to request it on such a short notice....GRRR. the other thing is picking up the cheque: i get email messages all the time from these idioits all the time, "Jennifer, I'm unavailable to pick up the cheque until Wednesday at 5:30pm, can you check the office hour schedule for me to see if anyone will be there at that time?" or "Jennifer, I can't make it onto Keele campus until Friday night, do you think you could give me the cheque at that time?" HELLO? do i live on FESA? i have OTHER priorities and demands too! what was really funny at the last meeting was how someone complained to the dean about having to balance between school and teaching and how it was difficult. WELCOME to the concurrent world!

aa;sdligas;dighioa;sehg;aosijdgas.....ARGH!

What girl doesn't like flowers?

So on Saturday night, when Ken & I were all dressed in formal attire to go to his Christmas work party, Ken arrived at my house to pick me up with a bouquet of flowers. (This is partly because I've been nagging him about buying me flowers...something which he hates to do because he claims that they die and are a waste of money). Ken & I often have disagreements over flowers (as we did later that night) cause he simply hates buying them, claiming it's a waste of money while I advocate on behalf of giving flowers, claiming that they are necessary in a relationship.

So in tribute to all the women out there, I would like to make a bold claim.

ALL WOMEN LIKE FLOWERS.

What in the world is wrong with flowers? They're aesthetically pleasing to the eye and the nose (they smell good and look good). And if they bring happiness (however, temporarily) to the receiver, then why not allow the receiver to enjoy these moments/periods of happiness more often? That way, the giver can delight in the fact that his/her gift made someone happy. HMPH.

Now whose with me?


And no, these pictures aren't the flowers that Ken gave me. He has them on his camera still. These are just some pics that I found on the web. Gerbera daisies (the bottom pic) are my favourite type of flowers.

babble...but not really

as many of you know, i have been out of touch with the bloggin world for quite some time. so today, i decided to frequent some of the sites i haven't been to for quite a while. i was reading my darren's blog and was inspired to write about nothing like he does...so here i go:

so anyway, today in my class we were talking about the differences in cultural communication. like how we all take it for granted that nodding means yes, shaking means no. in some other cultures, our gestures aren't what they mean here. i'll give you a real life sample of what i mean. yesterday one of my grade twos got in trouble with the teacher. she was trying to talk to him seriously and kept saying, "look at me in the eye when i'm talking to you!" but the kid just wouldn't look at her. consequently, he got himself into more trouble. however, i think that we need to be prudent & culturally sensitive as teachers, b/c in some cultures, kids are explicitly taught that talking to authority figures (seniors even) in the eye is a sign of disrespect. this is the opposite for north america. similarly, once i got in trouble in teaching an adult ESL class the thumbs up and thumbs down model (to show me whether they understand) b/c my course director/host teacher told me that those gestures are very offensive in some cultures (e.g. farsi).

on a completely unrelated topic, i think that i'm anti-mushy. as in, i dislike announcing to the whole world that "I (heart) ken" or "I LOVE ken." really, think about the last time that you saw that on my msn name. Similarly I refrain from calling him baby or being super mushy with him in public. that's not to say that i'm anti-PDA (public display of affection) cause i believe that certain forms of PDA are appropriate (e.g. hand-holding, linking arms, a kiss on the cheek, a hug) for certain times. i will not, for example, hold hands with ken around my parents, or sit closely to him for fear that my mother will lecture me about "tempting men with my bodily flesh." what i do instead, if i'm excited about something, or someone, is that i tend to talk about them ALOT. you can ask my brother how much i babble about ken, or ask ken how many times i've said, "i like (insert the name of one of my friends)." and as daniela tells me, naomi complains that i talk about ken too much.

off onto another completely unrelated field is that i realized recently why i wanted to become a teacher, or do all the things i've ever dream about doing. i realize that one of my passions in life is to instigate change. i don't know at which point in my life that i started to develop this passion. maybe i was born with an excess of empathy or something but the point remains. i want to be an advocate for change. i entered into teaching, hoping that i could teach future generations to globally conscious citizens - to care for the future sustainability of our environment, to help fix the structural inequalities we have in our world, etc. however, since entering into this program i've lost that vision. i see teachers as complacent individuals who simply teach no more than what the prescribed curricula tells them to teach - there isn't any originality in the lessons, as long as they receive their paychecks every month. for this reason, i've lost interest in teaching & am considering entering into the field of academia, doing research and policy-work on some of the injustices faced by immigrants in this society. but every now & then, i get glimpses of the fun & creativity that is to be haved in teaching (like yesterday). i am at a crossroad.

hmm, so my attempt to make this a light & fun post like darren's didn't really work. oh well. better luck next time.

Outdoor Education - A field trip with my Grade 2s

Today, my grade 2 class went on a field trip. Since it was my practicum day, I got to abandon my lessons for a week and go along with them. It was one of the finer moments in the teaching experiences that I've had. It's moments like these that I feel inspired to become a teacher...

We went to what is called the Milne Outdoor Education Program, located within the York Region District School Board. Stepping into the classroom was an amazing sight. The two ladies that hosted us were absolutely fabulous and the one woman, Connie, is an AMAZING teacher. Just watching her gave me some ideas of what I want to do with my class and gave me insight to some strategies that I could use with students.

They talked a lot about the water cycle today - since that is part of the Grade 2 curriculum. Connie had a way of explaining fancy words like evaporation, condensation, and precipatation to the Grade 2s that enabled them to understand it, have fun and learn through bodily kinesthetic means. For example: When describing evaporation, she got the kids to flutter their fingers really fast and move their arms up. She explained that condensation is sorta like water molecules cuddling and asked the kids to cup their hands together...and then she got them to do the motion for precipatation by fluttering their fingers really fast back then. The kids had so much fun!

I was also really impresed with the diagrams and visuals around the class too. She explained how much water we use each time we flush the toilet, turn on the faucet, take a shower. Ex. A conventional toilet uses 20L of water each flush; the environmental ones use only 3L each flush. The school was also committed to being litter-free. There was this wonderful, wonderful visual display that encased real items about what items we should reduce, reuse and recycle. For example: chip bags, candy wrappers, ziplock bags were on the REDUCE section. Cans, plastic bottles, and plastic utensils were in the RECYCLE section. In the REUSE section, there were Tupperware items, metal utensils, fabric bags, etc. It was pretty cool cause these items were all glued onto a board to display. I think I'm going to do that when I teach. Needless to say, there were no garbage cans...only a recycling bin and a compost. As some of you know, I am a keen environmentalist and I believe that we should educate future generations to be the same.

And oh! We got to feed chickadee birds! They are these really tiny wildlife birds that are super friendly. A bird ate from my hand twice!

There were so many more interesting things and many more strategies/ideas that I gained from this field trip today. However, I don't want to bore my adoring fans with the minute details. I will say this though. It's moments like these that I’m glad to have grown up in Ontario. I feel like there’s such a nature-loving element in growing up and living in Ontario. Even though I was educated in the city, I was taught to appreciate nature and learned the valuable things as a kid that I still cherish today. I really hope that if and when I do become a teacher, I can instill these values onto my own students.

Work that has influenced my teaching...

OKAY! I'm finally going to succumb to the pressure I've receiving about posting a new post. Sooo...this is what I have opted and is somewhat cheating in a sense. Instead of writing something totally new as a new post, I'm just re-using what I wrote for my "journey to become a teacher" assignment. :P

"As for my life in academia, I feel that a great many things have influenced my pedagogical approach. Prior to reading “The Ideology of Racism” by Frances Henry et al, I viewed myself as someone who held no racist views whatsoever. However, after reading this article, I examined my own beliefs and realized that my refusal to see colour as colour was naïve. Although no one espouses racial superiority in contemporary times, modern day racism views certain people of colour as being culturally disposed to deviant and criminal behaviours. I began to see the relation of this within the classrooms and schools I’ve been in, and even within my own attitudes. How many times have I seen a student labeled as ‘behavioural’ or having a learning impediment due to the colour of their skin? Having realized that modern day racism is to regard some cultures as having derogatory cultural characteristics, I am better able to evaluate my own attitudes and practice better discernment in labeling students.

Similar to Frances Henry’s work, the work of Lisa Delpit have influenced my teaching practice. Her book entitled, Other People’s Children: Cultural Conflict in the Classroom, enabled me to understand that there are power relations within the classroom that correlate to the ones within society. I realized that social and cultural modes of power are produced and reproduced within the classroom everyday. In Canada, where the annual immigration target has been set to 300, 000, there are increasing numbers of immigrant students who might not understand these modes of power. The relevancy of this for my own practice is that, in order to help learners succeed, I need to explicitly tell them the rules of the culture in power. However, what is equally important when revealing the codes of power is to acknowledge and value the cultures that students bring into the classroom. The task for educators then is to affirm the cultural identities of the students, but also to make it known to students that in order for them to participate in the “culture of power,” they need to understand those codes of power. It is my firm belief, as a teacher, that my job requires me to teach more than the prescribed curricula if I truly want students to succeed within our society.

Lastly, I want to briefly explain how the work of Jim Cummins has influenced my journey in becoming a teacher. Since hearing him speak at the Reading for the Love of It conference, I have independently read some of his works. His research mainly focuses on language development, primarily the literacy development of English language learners. Through his work, I was introduced to the plentiful ways of incorporating and validating the cultures and languages immigrant, or bilingual, children bring into the classroom. In particular, his project, in collaboration with Thornwood Public School, has opened my eyes to the wide variety of ways educators can use a student’s native language towards learning a second language (in this case, English). I also began to see that within schools, teachers often relegated the responsibility of the ELL student to the ELL teacher. However, I believe that all teachers are responsible for the learning of the ELL student because language is a medium of expression through all subjects. Therefore the terminology learned in science or math is just as important as the grammar and vocabulary taught in language class. The value of Jim Cummins’ work upon my own pedagogy has been significant, as I am now better able to direct myself in incorporating newcomer students into the classrooms. I believe that the works of Frances Henry, Lisa Delpit, and Jim Cummins have all impacted upon my journey as a teacher, and have taught me how to treat students equitably with respect and sensitivity."

Dying Simon's hair